The Princess and the Pee

Lecture done, we hopped in the car and headed to our next destination. It's a long drive so we had booked to stay at a hotel in a town just on top of New York City, it cuts today's drive down to five hours. It's a lovely hotel which we managed to get for an amazing rate. The lobby was noisy and at check in the clerk told me that they were hosting a big convention attended by 'sleep disorder doctors and specialists'. They are a noisy crowd. They stay up late too. Neither of us worried much about sleeping because we were both tired.

We ordered room service, we watched a bit of television, we checked the blog and Facebook and we generally relaxed. Both of us were pleased with the day. The audience had been warm and receptive and our hosts welcoming and helpful. It was a terrific experience, but adding a several hour drive on top of a full day of work made us fairly droopy.

When it came to bedtime I faced an issue I've never had before. I couldn't get into the bed. It was So incredibly ...

H

I

G

H

I tried once. I tried twice. Then I stood there looking at it feeling like Moses looking at a promised land that would not be his. Joe, at this point hadn't noticed because he was busy reading comments from yesterday. I didn't want to ask for his help but I didn't know what to do. I told him my problem. He turned and we both realized that, with him sitting in the wheelchair the bed was level with his shoulder. I could see that suddenly he was worried about getting in himself. 

|I tried a third time.

I tried a fourth.

I couldn't even get my knee on the damned thing. Then I tried sitting on it to swing around. Nope, I knew I'd slide right off. Joe offered to stand ready and when I swung my leg up he'd grab it and shove it further up. I could feel the groin injury as he described this complicated move. We gave that idea up as both undignified and dangerous.

Finally I noticed that the couch in the room had removable cushions. We got them off, made a stair and, suddenly I was on the bed.

I lay there for about five minutes.

Joe went back to the computer.

"Joe," I called to him, "I forgot to go pee."