It was silly. I knew it was silly. But I didn't care. Silly or not, I was going to win.
When we leave the apartment building, Joe opens one door, I open the other. My chair will fit through just one door but it's a tight fit and requires precise steering, it's easier to just push open one while going through the other. Just as I was about to let the door go, a woman, who lives in our building, was hurrying towards the door. I called out and told her that we would hold the door for her and, as a result, there was no need to rush. She hurried anyway and I noticed that she was heading towards me, not the entrance.
"Here, let me hold the door for you," she said.
"No," I said, being OUT, and not needing the door held, "go ahead in."
"No, no, I'll hold the door," she said not noticing that I was already OUT.
"I'm fine, go ahead in," I said, struggling to stay calm.
"NO!," she said, "I will help you, I don't need help."
"I don't need help right now either, I'm OUT, already, I'm holding the door for you as a neighbourly act." I said.
I'll stop there, but it didn't end there. It got into an actual argument with her refusing to enter and me refusing to let go of the door. I didn't want her to touch the door magically making it me getting help. Help that I didn't need and I didn't want because I was already OUT.
It was a struggle between two people, each trying to do something nice for someone else. "My life has become a sit com," I thought to myself. But. I didn't let go of the door.
In the end, I did win.
She went in.
But I also lost.
She went in really angry.
I wasn't angry, and I wasn't really regretful either. She wanted me to play helpless cripple and she wanted to begin her march to beatification.
Sometimes I simply can't be stuffed into the helpless role by even the nicest of bystanders, not only am I not helpless, I have the capacity and desire to help others too. Not just by what I do at work but by how I live my life.
All that means is that sometimes I want to hold the door.
I'm wondering if any of you get stubborn like I did yesterday ... I'm guessing this isn't an uncommon situation, but that's a guess, fill me in.