Saturday, March 13, 2010

Snot Fair

It disgusted me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it. I got into the car extremely upset and tried to just put it out of my mind. Joe noticed my upset and asked and I asked to be left alone about it. We drove to work. Feelings of revulsion ran through me. And I was mad. Flat out, down right, mad. I don't like coming to work this way. I work with vulnerable people and I want to always feel that my temper, my penchant for meanness to be completely in check. Thankfully I arrived to an empty office and time to take a breath.

Joe and I came down the elevator this morning, he was to take me to work and I was to take WheelTrans home in the afternoon. It's the first time we've scheduled the day like this but it suited our needs best. We were talking so Joe pushed the button for the basement and when the door openned we realized the mistake. Joe popped out and I rode back up to the main floor.

Now I don't understand people. When I ride on the subway people who are wanting on at a stop seem to lose any sense of the physical world. People must get off in order to create space for people to get on. It seems so simple, stand back, let others off, get on. Not only is this simple, it's what a good set of manners would dictate. Even so, people try to plow on while people try to plow off. Why there aren't more broken bones and pregnancies from subway travel I don't know.

I've noticed that the same phenomenon can happen in our building elevator. Like sometiems people in the lobby are suprised when the elevator arrives full of passengers. Wow, where did they come from? The door will open and someone will be standing right in the door way with one of those, 'What do I do now?' looks on their faces. Most back up. Many apologize. Some get inexplicably angry.

So when the door openned and an elderly gentleman of fine dress and horrid breeding stood there, right in the door, I was annoyed. It would be my luck to get this guy. I think he actually flat out hates disabled people. He certainly sees us as less than him. Once coming down the street with Tessa on her scooter and me in my chair he was angered that we took up too much sidewalk space even though Tessa braked and moved over to make room for him. He practically snarled at us. Oh me. Oh my.

He's in the door way I have to back up, THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. He snorted. Actually snorted. I felt something wet hit the back of my neck and I knew that a bit of snot had flown down and hit me on the neck. He stamped away from the door to give me room. I don't open my mouth because vomit would come out. I couldn't believe it. Maybe it was a drop of moisture from the elevator door, even though that's not happened in three years. Maybe that's it.

I park and use my gloves to wipe the back of my neck. I don't look. I just scrape my glove against my wheel and then push my way out to the car.

I have one question.

Just one.

Is this cause for justifiable homicide?


Stephanie said...

OH My God! Here that would be considered assault & battery - seriously. I think I would have flug it back at him or punched him. ooooooooh I am sooooooo mad at that asshole! How DARE he? Somebody needs to leave a big turd right in front of his door.

Steph :(

Baba Yaga said...

It's cause for justifiable removal of that person from the list of those worthy of *your (specific) consideration.

It's a telling reaction. The snot of a young child of whom one's fond can be endured well enough. The snot of a lout and a bully is repugnant beyond measure.

Unknown said...

Pretty close, in my opinion.

Susan said...

I have one answer. Just one.


FridaWrites said...

It sounds like he may have spit. I would let building management know. My strategy with these kind of people is to remind them that I'm their future and they'll be in my place in a few years.

We need to write posts on bullying of adults with disabilities--I had it yesterday too.

In some instances it is best to ignore--you see the abuser exerting more and more effort, working so hard to get your attention for nothing until they self-explode with anger or the adrenaline they're trying to get out of you. No response--it drives them crazy!!

Here's a warning. Some people will try to deliberately get a rise out of you and then report you for your response--don't let someone do that to you. Be careful and deliberate in your responses and decisions. Document.

FridaWrites said...

I don't mean to sound bossy. But if they can get you to do something and label you as a troublemaker (I didn't snot on him!)--well, people are like that.

rickismom said...

When people approach me when I am telling Ricki off in public, and they say "Oh, but she is SO sweet..." I always (later) joke that if I ever get convicted of murder,that's why....
People look at me VERY askanse as I say this.

~ Teresa ~ said...

Oh, my.... My reaction to your question... Pardon me, but I would have socked him in the b a l l s!

Liz Miller said...

Report him.

TheWiredOne said...

I'm surprised you didn't get revenge by punching him. The nerve of him!

Gone Fishing said...

What a poor demented lost soul and what a stressed out miserable life he must have.

Not that long ago I learned to say of such people, they simply do not exist in my world and hopefully are much poorer for it.

Recently a former accident compensation case manager bully of the worst kind of the file used in my name and muchly probably responsible for the theft of my identity walked toward me on the Railway platform and greeted me all smiles and joyful happiness.

I scowled in reply "You are going to DIE"

Later all concerned I asked my pet Solicitor if I had transgressed some strict rules.
"No", he replied "you simply spoke the truth"

So I guess he answer to your question is here's hoping someone may try it and find out.

Kristin said...

I would be LIVID. And, actually, once he spit on you, what he did qualifies legally as assault.

I am so very sorry Dave.

Colleen said...

Dear Dave:

That is absolutely disgusting! No one should have to endure such treatment.

I cannot urge you to violence or threats - I think that is not your better nature anyway. However, what he has been doing is hatefilled and discriminatory. He won't stop unless someone in authority makes him. Report him.

By the way - I think this is not personal Dave - someone that hate filled can't see past their own prejudice to who you are.


Elizabeth McClung said...

I would be disgusted and angry both - I have had a youth spit into the back of my head to show off to his friends, and make a laugh pack, like hyenas. I will never forget it. I don't think you will either. It is the kind of ritualized humiliation which is considered inhumane and torture in prisons, to violate someone with bodily fluids while they are unable to resist. BAH. A violation, a skin crawling, never clean violation. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Just a question...Do you have a phone with a camera? Someone I know, documents/takes a picture of those people who display poor behaviour. She has even tried it with people using hand held devises while driving (illegal here in B.C.) Do not confront them, just take a picutre (or even just use the flash!)

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