Tuesday, March 16, 2010

John: On YouTube

Welcome to Video Two on You Tube. I apologize to my readers who need subtitling. I'm trying to figure out how to do this. If any one knows how, please let me know. Better still, if anyone wants to volunteer to transcribe or to caption, I'd be very interested in talking with you.

The story here is one I've never told out loud before. I thought about it long and hard before turning on the camera. There are times I'm searching for words because the story is new to telling. I could have re recorded it but decided that it's ok here that the stories are told directly from memory.

Please leave comments here or there. Let me know if you are enjoying the occasional YouTube post.


L."Wren" Vandever said...

A lovely story, told very well. Thank you for sharing it. The story made me feel awful for John. I wonder if anyone besides the janitor ever did get through to him, or if he talked to others.

theknapper said...

So many pieces to your story....what it did for me was to remember taking a woman from that same institution for shock treatment......she wasn't violent......she was anxious and often in her own world.....the treatment didn't seem to help. I had that same sense of being complicit in hurting someone I was suppose to help.It felt so wrong.

theknapper said...

A couple other comments
I love the picture on the wall
Sound was very low.....really had to strain to hear.

Dave Hingsburger said...

knapper some of these shared experiences makes your thoughtfulness mean so much more. VOICE sits along my office window reminding all to see ...

Pat V said...

I will probably never be able to get to one of your lectures so I really appreciate the videos. You're stories are so thoughtful and touching. I am so glad you found your place in the world working with and for people with disabilities.

Andrea S. said...

I don't know much yet about how to make it work, but YouTube apparently now has a feature that makes it easier to caption your videos. I suggest you go to


and enter the search phrase there "captioning videos" ... you should see a few results for videos that provide instruction for, or information about, captioning.

Amanda Forest Vivian said...

you're a very good talker, I would never have known you hadn't planned this. it made me cry.

I like transcribing things so I could do that but I don't know how to make captions. I could transcribe it and someone else could make captions.

Roia said...

Thank you for your story, Dave. It touched me deeply as many of your stories do. Frankly, I think "reputationitis" should be included in the newly revised DSM because it's a very real phenomenon in institutions.

Having worked in an institution for the past 22 years, I have also encountered (and worked with) numerous people whose severe reputations precede them.

I understand that there is a need, of course, to keep people alert to possible dangers of the job. But what I find happening more often than not is that people interact in a very hostile manner (due to their fear of being hurt) with the person with the horrifying reputation. I guess their theory is "puff myself up and get the upper hand before s/he can hurt me".

I won't say I haven't gotten hurt, because I have, but I've learned to go in to situations where I could get injured and talk to the person up front and let them know that I'm going to try to listen to him/her and ask them, if they feel I'm not listening properly, to let me know as gently as possible. It helps that, as a music therapist, I can offer them the use of instruments to express the years of trauma they've experienced.

Having watched people be restrained I can understand that awful feeling of being a part of the dangerous collective. Thank you again.

i. said...

Thank you, Dave!
Please do continue with your videos. It adds so much to the story to hear it in your own voice.
John's story brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of a friend who carries one special photo around with her all the time. She goes everywhere with this photo, looks at it, points to the face, and as she does this, her face is lit up with such joy.
Just another thought came to mind...Perhaps John was right all along about his brothers and sisters if you believe we all live in this world as brothers and sisters and we all have a loving 'parent', a God who loves us... and who might be revealed to us by the person walking beside us... or someone who polishes the floors.
Thank you again for the video and I look forward to your next one!

Kat said...

I love how your voice sounds like how you write. Thanks for sharing this story. It was like getting a hug (I'm not sure I can explain why my brain went there though).

Gone Fishing said...

I can identify with John's plight in a small way. there but for the Grace of God go I as they say

Up to and around 2000 it seems people employed to "manage" my Accident Compensation Occupationally induced Multiple Chemical sensitivities or Toxicity claim set about trying to achieve their "future intentions" (Possibly Bonus or KPI driven in some way) toward me.

I became and still are somewhat at times just a "fearful" spectator on the sideline of a great battle raging all around and about me and my diagnosis but never actually including me, in fact avoiding such inclusion.

Seemingly to cover their intentions the staff had to paint a picture of me as extremely violent difficult and adversarial and even walking out of meetings was noted as acts of "Rudenss!"

e.g. a letter dated 30th October 2000 in reply to a request from an Member of parliament for some help to correct matters

Whoever manages ..... claim, IMNZ or ACc, will need to be prepared for litigation throughout his rehabilitation that will undoubtedly become protracted and extend normal timefranes.

reviewing the extensive medical information on file would suggest Mr... has the capacity for work of 30 hours per week or more

Imnz can provide the case management services within the terms of the ACC Act, being ethical legal and moral. We would ask in doing so for the support of ACC and parliamentarians?
I apologise for exceeding the timeframe given of 27 October in providing this reply but the material for review is extensive (7 Volumes)
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you would like to discuss this case or have any queries
Principal case Manager

Later after even more harrowing experiences my claim was returned to ACC for "management" the return carefully managed to keep within the terms of the contract which meant returning me listed as "Risky Client"

Luckily Shock Treatment is no longer a remedy available to such management people, to control or calm difficult clients however that does not stop them seemingly trying some pretty nasty measures to keep people quiet.

From my (OR Our) experiences we have learned to never underestimate anybody and always be prepared to listen to their story in the first instance.

one day it would be interesting to write up my adventures, it has been one hell of a ride at times

Shan said...

Dave, I am up over 100 WPM typing speed, so for future videos feel free to drop me a line. I'm happy to do it - love a little typing now and then. It gets the knitting kinks out of my fingers.

The stories are so good.