Tuesday, December 22, 2009

No Blog Today

"I was making rather merry."

Forgive me but I'm taking a day off from blogging today. The last day of my 57th year kind of bled into the first day of my 58th year and as a result, this old boy is just plain tired. I've been staring at the computer screen for about 15 minutes trying to decide what to write.

For awhile I thought I'd write about how, when it's just family, the wheelchair becomes integrated into activities in ways so utterly normal. Everyone wants a shoot at pushing me in the chair, everyone helps with the footplates, room is automatically made at the table. No muss, and the little fuss there is, well, it's the pleasant kind. But then I realized that I wasn't up to describing how mighty Ruby felt when she first pushed my footplate down and how accomplishment rang in her voice when she said, 'OK, Dave.'

Then I thought I'd write about how the woman at Walmart who did the 'family portrait' couldn't call me anything but 'the wheelchair'. How I had to bite my tongue and let it go. This was a gift, and a nice one. This was the first thing we did together on the birthday morning, the mood established here would travel through the day. I decided to just shut up and be 'the wheelchair'. My only little act of outrage was when we were to go and pick the picture, the one bought for Joe and I, and she said, 'Everyone but the wheelchair, there's no room for wheelchairs back here.' Mike sputtered that it was a present for us. I said to Joe, let's just go in. Of course there was room for wheelchairs. All I said was, 'And you weren't going to let me choose?' She looked chastened, or I choose to think that look was apology not gas, and that was enough. I just let it go. But ultimately I don't want to write about that because it's got way too negative a tone for way too nice a day.

But then, I thought, maybe I'd write about my reaction to the movie AVATAR ... did it really have a better dead than disabled theme ... or am I just to sensitive to how disability is portrayed. Finally, I decided that I needed more time to think through the mess of emotions I felt watching the movie. I think, over all, on my birthday, I wish we had gone to see the Fabulous Mr. Fox.

Or I could write about the little note card that Joe left for me by my shaving gear. But that's entirely too personal, I've just tucked the card into my briefcase and its sentiment into my heart. So, there's no blog to be written there.

So, apologies all.

I'm taking the day off.

10 comments:

Manuela said...

since you said no blog, I guess I'll just say I very much enjoyed what you didn't blog today and I want to see the picture. Love to see how the family has grown! But I'll wait till you feel up to blogging again!

wendy said...

Even your non-blogs are wonderful. I'm glad you had a good birthday surrounded by love and sweetness.

Kowalski said...

Happy belated Birthday, Dave!

ivanova said...

You get a lot more writing done on your "days off" than most people get on their "days on." Happy birthday!

liz said...

What Manuela said!

Kristin said...

For a non-blog day, that was a pretty awesome non-post!

Susan said...

Dave, you should take the day off more often!

Looking forward to seeing the photo... and I hope one turns up on Belinda's fridge! Right next to mine. :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Dave

Sharon

Sasha_feather said...

This post has been included in a linkspam at Access_Fandom. Thank you!

FridaWrites said...

Uh oh, I think you wrote a blog! Hope you've had a great birthday. Interested in seeing Avatar myself (we have a free movie coupon)--just for the alternative world--but the disability presentation in it is unsettling--not sure how I'd deal with that.