Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Lines

If I were a teacher I'd make myself write, 'I am not a Docktor' a thousand times on the blackboard. Does anyone else ever keep making the same mistake over and over again? You'd think I'd learn. A decade or so ago I misdiagnosed the early stages of Flesh Eating Disease as a spider bite. Me + Google does not a Docktor make. I vowed not to make the same mistake again.

But I do. Constantly. Why go to the Doctor when I can be my own Docktor? So I suffer. In this case for two weeks. I twisted my knee some while back and it just didn't get better. In fact it was getting worse and worse. Pain radiating from my knee down the side of my leg into my foot. Deep grinding pain. I knew it was a twisted knee so I started taking Extra Strength Excederin, at first one or two but later by the handsfull.

By the weekend I'd numbed the pain, but also my skin, my senses and my ability to form sentences. I took Monday off because I felt just plain awful. The pain was back, the pills weren't working. Finally Joe said ... ENOUGH.

A couple of hours later I have a perscription for the problem (which wasn't, as it turns out, a twisted knee) and I'm on these amazing meds - you know the kind that actually work. They take away the pain, promote healing and don't leave me feeling like I've anaethsetized (sp?) my common sense along with everything else.

So ... here goes ...

I am not a Docktor.

I am not a Docktor.

I am not a Docktor.

11 comments:

Heike said...

Off to the naughty corner with you then Dave. Take Joe...

Glee said...

You have been a "dickhead" certainly not a docktor Dave.

cheerily Glee :-)

wendy said...

Oh Dave...the perils of google! I'm glad you're finally receiving the right treatment from someone licensed to practice medicine (not that all of those folks are created equal!) For the record I, too, have been known to make the same mistake twice...sometimes more!

Molly C said...

Hi, my name is Molly and I think I'm a docktor.

I got my degree from University of Google. or sometimes Web Md. Technology is a dangerous thing!

Anonymous said...

Just recently started reading your blog but rarely comment on any of those I do read regularly. But yours struck a nerve. I'm a part time wheelie due to a bad heart. I too have fallen with "I am a Docktor" syndrome when I think I know what is going on with my own body. Okay, yes, I've had significant training in doctoring but nowhere near enough to actually call myself a "Doctor". (Got the certificates on the wall to prove the significant training part.) Plus, I have dealt with enough poorly trained doctors who think they know more about certain aspects of me and my various conditions than they really do. (Those go into immediate retraining, if the least bit 'trainable'.) The one lesson I have finally learned, (and it sure took long enough, and a near heart attack), is that I get the diagnosis FIRST, then hit Google IF and ONLY IF I lack sufficient knowledge on my own. It was a hard lesson to learn and came close to killing me. Okay, lesson finally learned. Next please.

Shan said...

Me = Google does not a doctor make. Immortal words.

You're getting a few comment spams these days, Dave - might you be instituting word verification soon?

rickismom said...

Would this not be because you can't stand going to doctors because they tend to treat overweight people like ........

Myrrien said...

lol oh Dave I do this all the time! Poor you I hope you get better really soon.

lisa said...

Dave,
Be careful, that excedrine can tear your stomach apart if you take too much. Believe me I know whereof I speak :(
Lisa

Whatshername? said...

Thank God for Joe. :D

Laura said...

Hi

New reader here. I just wanted to say been there done that. If I went to the dr every time I had an ache or a pain I'd have my own hospital wing. The hard part is knowing when it's my disability that causing normal (for me) aches and when I need to seek care. It's a toss up :D
Hope you feel better soon