I really don't like being a bother. Really. I don't. But I think we need to define 'bother'. At least I do. So, read along if you'd like but this blog is written for the sheer joy of bitching about my day.
Before I became disabled, I would often hold the door open for people (not women, people) carrying groceries, small children and in one memorable case, a fridge. I did not find it a bother, ever, ever ever ever.
Before I became disabled, I would often stop to let someone pass. It cost me nothing to break stride, to pause for a second, it isn't war it's a walk. I did not find it a bother, ever, ever ever ever.
Before I became disabled, I would often reach to get something on a high shelf for someone of short stature. It didn't trouble me, I'm tall, it took a second, big deal. I did not find it a bother, ever, ever ever ever.
But today when over at the mall after work, I had to ask someone to hold the elevator door so I could drive in. She glared at me like I had caused her great disturbance by needing a wee bit of assistance. I HAD BEEN A BOTHER.
Then, yeah I'm going through the list, a man rushing by gave a loud disgruntled groan because he had to break stride for my wheelchair which was going too fast to stop for him. He rolled his eyes and then glanced at his watch. I HAD BEEN A BOTHER.
Then, I wanted to look at a book in the bookstore that was just a bit out of reach. I asked a staff from the store, a frigging staff from the frigging store, to grab it for me and you'da thought I'd asked her to have my frigging baby. She did it with resentment sqeezing out of every pore. I HAD BEEN A BOTHER.
MY PRONOUNCEMENT TO THE WORLD
When exactly did you all get so important that a few seconds would disrupt your day. Unless you are a frigging heart surgeon racing to unclog a valve, seconds don't matter.
And if they do you are ...
a) hopelessly disorganized and nothing you frigging do is going to help.
b) you have an empty life that you are filling with meaningless things and a second's pause may cause you to confront or acknowledge the void you are attempting to flee from.
c) you are a helplessly self important jerk and people only pretend to love you.
d) c was a bit harsh, but I'm pissed off, people do love you - but you probably have to buy them presents regularly.
I have decided that I'M GOING TO BE A BOTHER. I'm going to ask people for a couple seconds of their day. It's my mission. It's my purpose. It's my way of bringing some sanity back to the world.
Where can I get an I AM A PROFESSIONAL BOTHER ... tee shirt.