Time is a funny thing. The future becomes the present faster than ever expected and the past hangs around way too long. Because of the past, I've been afraid of something coming in the future, and that's OK because things can safely be tucked away up there in the future. But, someone hit the accelerator and the future is here. It's today. It's PRESENT.
At about two yesterday afternoon, I started figuring.
Figuring a way to move fear back up into the future.
Figuring a way to get to the past without going through the present.
Figuring a way to make it all just go away.
Funny how prayer becomes a constant companion at times in one's life. In the last few day's I have prayed so much that I'm sure God is call screening. I looked up the top ten prayers and was shocked to see the list. Shocked. Cause I would have thought that my own prayer, the famous 'I'll do this if you do that' prayer or it's cousin, 'I'll never do this again if you just do this one thing for me' prayer would right up at the top. I figure there's a lot of us who go to the swap meet hoping God shows up, is in a good mood, and hasn't given out all the good dispensations to the other schmucks in line ahead of you.
If you took away the bargaining.
If you took away the whining.
If you took away the obsequiousness.
I figure we, God and I, don't talk as much as I'd like.
Anyways, prayers or not, figuring or not, it's here - today. And there's no putting it off. I'm simply going to have to endure fear, maybe humiliation, perhaps even pain.
But Tuesday is on the horizon and it can't come fast enough.
13 comments:
I'm praying for you as well. (Actually, I do quite regularly, but I will ESPECIALLY today.)
Roll on Tuesday! (And there will be learning in today, at least......)
Hm. My brain damage essentially forces me to live mostly in the present, so I don't get much of this.
I'm not sure if there's something specific going on with you today or if you're having a hard time today quite outside of anything that's going on externally. I wonder if I'm missing something, but I suspect that's not the point.
I hope your every today is better than you think it will be. And that you can get to not worrying about the future when worrying won't do any good.
Your post, Dave, reminds me of this Robert Frost quote:
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
Dear Dave:
I hope all goes as well as it possibly can for you today.
Colleen
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Joe.
Julia
Thinking of you. Hoping that whatever it is you are facing today goes better than you fear, better even than you hope.
((((Dave))))
I'm not the praying sort. ... But if it helps, know that I'll be thinking good thoughts about you.
Also, there's one key lesson I've learned in a lifetime of studying fairy tales: The way OUT of the deep, dark, scary forest is to go THROUGH it. ... And also, that thorn that the funny goblin at the crossroads handed to you? It may well turn out to be the one true sword you need to slay the dragon.
Anne Lamott says that there are basically 2 prayers: Helpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpme
and
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
Hope you find the right one at every moment!
Nan made me laugh. I too, am familiar with both very effective prayers. :)
Dave, I KNOW that all will be well, since you are his and his plans are good.
I'm thinking about you. Whatever it is, I hope it went as well as it could go.
Know that God is a happy God - and nothing we can do will make Him otherwise. Know too that God is a God of glory - and He will honor those who seek it. Know too He is a loving God - and sees the sparrow. Know too that He LOVES when you talk to Him - all the time and any time. Remember Peter's prayer when sinking in the water - "help me Lord". And he got an immediate answer. Know that those moments in life, when there is no other with you (surgery, tests, etc.) He is - and those moments together can be precious and help face future moments. Know too that others care a great deal about you. Keep looking up. You are talking to the right source!!!
I kinda grimaced when I read your post. Shot me back to my prep and procedure for my colonoscopy. Dear heavens - on my birthday too! Yup - put me back to my past. Whatever you face - let's hope it make the future better!
Hope that your Tuesday is everything that you need it to be. :)
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