Dear Readers: I am receiving many emails with ideas for these updates regarding the International Day of Mourning and Memory. I'm struggling with computer problems to keep these updates going and will do all in my power to keep everything happening on the blog. I ask that you help by promoting the day and getting the word out. I've heard from some organizations that are holding a moment of silence that day. Vita is looking at having one of our self advocates write her story of feelings about being institutionalized - her sorrow at lost years and lost friends. This we hope to share through the agency. Jon, an old friend, sent me this video which powerfully moved me and seemed to be an almost 'perfect' theme song for the day. I don't like the description of the song on YouTube saying it was about a woman 'wrongfully' institutionalized as if there are people 'rightly' locked away. Anyways, I found the words on line and hope I am not violating copyright. Please leave a comment on YouTube for the singer and the song. (today's post follows ... I really need help)
She Never Knew She Never Knew
She never knew about the tooth fairy
Or being tucked into bed by her daddy
She never knew about staying up all night long
Talking to a girlfriend
She never knew about first kisses
Or throwing pennies into wells and making wishes
She never knew that she never knew she never knew
Do you blame the mother that chose neglect or
Do you blame the teacher that decided to reject her
Do you blame the angel that failed to protect Arline
Oh Arline, Oh Arline
She never knew about Sunday mornings
Waking-up late in the arms of her husband
She never knew what it’s like to dry a tear
From the son, she never knew
She never knew what it’s like to help her
Daughter get dressed on the day of her wedding
She never knew what it’s like to hold a newborn grandchild.
Do you blame the mother that chose neglect or
Do you blame the teacher that decided to reject her
Do you blame the angel that failed to protect Arline
She was sent to live in the middle of nowhere
Where all the misfits go that don’t fit in anywhere
Who pays the time for the crime against an innocent child
I’m afraid it’s Arline
Oh Arline
Bridge:
Send them away
Pretend everything’s ok…
What’s been taken away
Can never be replaced
She was a little girl with dreams and smiles
Walked with a limp when she was only five
Her mother couldn’t handle the shame
She packed Arline sent her away
I met Arline at her group home
She’s 78 now and she lives all alone
She knits clothes for her dolls
Who are, her family.
Too late to blame the mother that chose neglect
Too late to blame the teacher that decided to reject her
Too late to blame the angel that failed to protect Arline
She was sent to live in the middle of nowhere
Where all the misfits go that don’t fit in anywhere
Who pays the time for the crime against an innocent child
I’m afraid it’s Arline
Oh Arline, Oh Arline.
4 comments:
I had an older sister once. Back in "those" days. I never knew her, but I remember being about 8 years old when my parents learned she had passed away. I had never seen my father cry until that day.
Fast forward, I have a daughter who very well could have been there.
Thank you, Dave, for your advocacy.
Thank you to my daughter's carers.
Thank you to the pediatrician 33 years ago who gave us hope.
Thank you, my daughter, for being the you that you are.
What a bittersweet song.
I have never posted on this blog before, but I am a regular reader. I just want to say that I really like the idea of the International Day of Mourning, and I thnink that the song is beautiful - except for the line "Do we blame the mother that chose neglect". I think that lays tremendous guilt and shame on those mothers. Many were just doing what they were told by the doctors, staff and family. Maybe they had little means and support to care for this child. I truly believe that most mothers do not chose neglect.
@Anonymous Parents made these choices too, and not all of them chose to send their disabled children away. It's not right to pretend it was something they had no involvement in.
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