Monday, August 10, 2009


Oh, I know you'll never believe me. But I'm going to tell you anyways, but I might as well be talking to my own echo. You see, everybody thinks Joe is this wonderous person (which he is) full of saintly patience (which he can be) and made up of a combination of sweetness and laughter (yeah, yeah, true - BUT!!!). Of course he's all those things, but I see the side of Joe that you seldom do. Darth Joe.

Mike made up this picture of Joe after I bought him one of those, to the floor, monk style housecoats. I saw the photo and immediately waited. I knew it wouldn't be long. I knew a blog was coming down the pike. Darth Joe is always lurking on the dark side.

And as sure as the sun rises and sparrow's fart - the moment came.

You see, Joe does have a temper. A deeper one than mine. One that lasts and lasts. He takes some pushing but if push comes to shove, Joe shoves back. It always takes people aback. I think they think that he's, genuinely, a push over.

But we were out, on one of our many holiday trips into the center of the city. We've loved having the freedom to just go. I hop up into Henry's waiting lap, do up the seat belt and I'm off. My wheelchair is so powerful it feels like I'm driving one quarter of a car. We were wandering around discovering bits of our neighbourhood that we didn't know existed.

Before we left Baby Ruby, we promised we'd send her something in the mail. I stopped at the shop that has all the broaches in the window to see if there were a broach she'd like. We spotted one immediately. I waited outside, there was one step in, and the clerk came into the window to get the broach. As she did so I noticed another broach, a big one, that had the exact colouring that would match my bag (shut up) and I indicated for her to get it too. She smiled, waved, and plucked it off the dress as well. I wanted something to liven up my wheelchair bag. That was the perfect thing. It would look great.

We didn't wait until we got home to affix the new broach. Joe loved the idea so he got down behind the chair and was sticking the pin onto my bag. Just then a fellow walking down the street with his girlfriend, got upset because they had to step by where I was sitting still on the pavement. He stopped, jerking her to a halt as she didn't see and hadn't slowed her step. "You people ..." he started but didn't get a chance to finish.

Darth Joe rose up from behind me and said, "You can stop right there you spoiled, petty jerk. We both know what you are going to say. It's been said before. And for your information, this is our fucking sidewalk too. Now MOVE!!"

He looked startled. I smiled pleasantly up at him and gave her the 'my boyfriend can beat the shit out of your boyfriend look'. She simply looked like she was so embarrassed that she need to go somewhere and throw up.

We continued on our way. My bag nicely pinned. After I heard Joe's breathing return to normal I said, "I thought you didn't like scenes?"

He said, "Never forget that there are two queens in this relationship. I like drama as much as you do."




Glee said...

Go Joe!!

wendy said...

Joe's my new hero! "Never forget there's two queens in this relationship" indeed!
Some things just need to be said and Joe said 'em.
LOVE the new broach, by the way. I'm glad you finally gave into to your glitter craving!

Molly C said...

I love Joe. High Five him for me! Seriously, it sounds like that's exactly what the rude dude needed. and I'm sorry, if my boyfriend spoke like that to someone, I'd dump his ass.

Fran said...

That one made me laugh out loud. And good for him, it needed to be said.

Anonymous said...

Yes, your majesties!


FAB said...

I like Darth Joe just as much as "regular" joe!

Anonymous said...

go Joe go!!

CJ said...

Good for Joe!

Susan said...

Hmm. I like Joe more and more all the time. Reminds me a little of my friend Darth Belinda (I call her Super B'a), when there's an injustice to stand up against! :) Or a dumpster to jump into.

Teresa said...

I giggled out loud when I read this. GOOD FOR JOE!!! I would have liked to have been a little bird and watch this all go down!

liz said...

He's a keeper!

Kristin said...

Darth Joe kicks some serious ass. Way to go Joe! I love the broach.

Martijn van S. said...

It's always the quiet ones :D.
Go Joe!
The quiet ones are the dangerous ones. The don't say or do to you, but they remember everything. And when you least expect it, they'll fire everything back at you!

Cynthia F. said...

I love Darth Joe!

Anonymous said...

Two Queens!!! Almost snorted coffee through my nose!! Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Ok this is Ruby and Daddy ........ Ruby says just like 2 queens to take over land that didnt belong to them ... and she also said that your new broach is behind you if its on your bag, and she knows a certin DA...GUY that could get her her new jems.(not me i promise) As for her dad ... me .. I duno dave and darth ruby might be able to make a some sort of arangment for a plastic broach ... and next time she will handle the asshole on the street.


Shan said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! "...go somewhere & throw up."

Joe scares me a little.

Nice brooch.