Monday, June 29, 2009
Today is our 40th anniversary, thanks to Mike and his family for the wonderful photograph above. Instead of writing a typical blog, here are answers to five questions we are often asked, leaving out the inevitable, what do guys do in bed together anyways ...
Question: Did you plan your anniversary to be so close to Gay Pride Day?
Answer: Our relationship began 40 years ago, one day past the Stone Wall riots that began the gay movement and would eventually become Gay Pride Day. We had no idea what was going on in New York at the time. After all we were high school students in Campbell River. So our relationship is one day younger than the modern Gay Pride movement.
Question: Who asked who out?
Answer: Oh, there was no 'dating' for two 16 year old boys back in those days. I had met Joe in the hallways of high school in Grade 12 and discovered that he was also going to the University of Victoria. We agreed to share rides up and down island, Joe would pay half gas. Well, he never paid for gas and the rides took longer than they ought.
Question: Do you ever fight?
Answer: Well, Joe is more difficult than you might imagine, so yes, we fight. Our fights now are shorter, less mean, and haven't much of an emotional hangover. Sometimes we get to the edge of a fight and Joe will say, 'Do you have the energy for a fight?' I'll say, 'Nah'. And it will be over. There is a good side to being tired all the time.
Question: How has Joe adjusted to you becoming disabled.
Answer: It is more work for him, what with the wheelchair and all. But, remember, I haven't changed. We organize ourselves better. We think things through. It's all OK. What's interesting is that people notice this adjustment, because it's a big one. We've been adapting to each other's changes for all of our 40 years - that's what makes a relationship work.
Question: Do you have joint goals for the future?
Answer: Yes and no. We, of course, have professional goals. But as to personal goals, we keep it simple. Live well together. Do well together. Sleep well together.
So there you have it. I'll be back tomorrow with more 'disability oriented' blogs. I've got a list of little notes beside me to remind me of things that have been happening over the last few days. But Gay Pride and the 40th just got in the way of regular life.