Learning things about yourself - what a fun part of the journey. Ain't self awareness grand! We arrived in Frankenmuth with a great amount of anticipation. We've been there several times before, but always in the winter. This was our first visit where the streets were clear of snow. Frankenmuth is odd. It's like a little German village in the middle of the wilds of Michigan. I'd always wanted to wander the shops.
We got there and drove to the hotel by hordes of tourists and all I could imagine was struggling by them on my footless wheelchair. Joe knew I was disappointed but suggested we go shopping at the new superstore on the outskirts of town. They'd have those electric carts that I'd be able to use, I'd be free again. I agreed reluctantly, maybe even petulantly.
We got to the Superstore and Joe drove the cart out to the car. I got in, it was a tad tight because, well, I'm a tad big. But the cart was sturdy and I soon got the hang of driving it. But I had sweat prickling my back as I noticed people notice me. I wanted to say, somehow, 'I'm disabled, not lazy' as I knew that all they were seeing was a fat guy on a cart. My wheelchair is a very different means of getting around, it's a symbol of disability. My wheelchair makes my disability something real. The cart, didn't do the same thing in my mind.
Then suddenly I thought.
Why am I spending time that is supposed to be enjoyed worrying about the casual opinion of strangers. So what if they think I'm lazy, I know I'm not. So what if they have stereotypes of fat people, bald people, disabled people. So what. We have had very little time that's just 'fun' on this trip. Instead of concentrating on others, I began concentrating on driving the scooter. Doing a figure eight in a huge aisle, backing up without running over toddlers, going as fast as I could.
I've got to learn to stop giving people power they don't have.
I've got to learn to keep the power I do have.