Saturday, October 04, 2008

The Message

When we got home last night, came in through the door, it felt wonderful. It was just plain nice being home for a few days. We have dived into lecture season and are going to be all over the map the next few weeks. Still, there is something about being home. Having a place to snuggle into. A safe place.

Being a lecturer, writing a blog, doing the kinds of things that I do, puts me constantly into an odd relationship with others. Someone once mentioned to me that being a trainer is the only job where you get evaluated every day you go to work. And that's true, being that public means that others get to judge you, make comments about your work, your style, and often even your looks. I'll never forget the 'he shouldn't be allowed to present until he loses some weight' or the 'he has ugly feet' or the 'if he had any self esteem at all he'd be embarrassed to be seen publically'. These things do stay in one's head - even if pushed aside. There are thousands of positive comments - but being human, who remembers those?

So, getting home is always nice. It feels like a safe haven. Or it did. I picked up the phone and it had a beeping dial tone that indicated messages in the voicemail box. I grabbed a pen and then plugged in the password. Was told that I had entered the wrong password, remembered that I'd changed the password, reentered the new one. There was only one message.

My heart leapt to my throat as the machine told me that the message had been marked urgent. I've never had that before and was worried about being away and having an emergency call. Then a harsh voice came on leaving a vulgar, threatening message. With a trembling finger I saved the message for Joe to listen too. Joe listened and said, 'I'm erasing this.' And the message was gone.

We had decided to have a listed number here in Toronto after years of having an unlisted number. Because of a couple of controversial things I've done over the years, threatening calls became fairly commonplace. But I haven't had one for a long while, I haven't had one here.

Suddenly I felt more vulnerable. I felt frightened. I don't understand people's need to reach out and slap someone. I don't understand people who will make nasty personal comments about a speaker. I don't understand people who will pick up the phone and leave a threatening message. If you don't like me, my message, or my style. Don't attend my lecture. Don't read my blog.

I'm fairly easy to avoid.

After a long talk, we've decided to change nothing. I have to say what I have to say. Joe supports it all. So we're here to stay, until God moves us along.

So, since I can't call you back ... you didn't leave a name or number. If your purpose was to scare me. You did. If your purpose was to shut me up ... you didn't.

34 comments:

theknapper said...

Good for you Dave.(and Joe) I'm glad you live out loud!!!!
We need you.

Kathy said...

mean people suck!

Luv ya Dave.

Anonymous said...

Dave and Joe: I'm pissed you had to come back to that, but want you to know we are delighted your back - there is a huge line up at your office door waiting for your brief return before hitting the road again - I'll be one of them, see you Monday. MDN

Caroline said...

I have the Che Guevara quote on my wall - "I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees" - it's the only way to go and I long ago decided that if I could meet my own eyes in the mirror without shame then that would be my benchmark. I hate hate hate that people are so cruel and bullying and so cowardly they wont speak their piece to your face but that is their business, not yours. You and Joe chose not to let somebody else's shit change what you do - good for you, that's what matters (I would still like to be very unevolved and punch that person hard in the mouth though :o))

Anonymous said...

It takes all kinds of people to make up this world. What a coward to leave a message on your phone. Keep doing what you're doing. People like that aren't worth your time.

wendy said...

What possesses someone to do something like that?? I will never understand the capacity some people have for being mean and horrible to others. I'm sorry that was your "Welcome Home". As to people who comment in their evaluations about their opinions regarding your appearance, who the hell are they??? If they can't hear your message because they're so busy looking at you and and judging what they see then what are they like in their daily lives?? I'm with Kathy...mean people suck!
Off topic, just let me say how much I loved the workshop yesterday.

FridaWrites said...

I'm a bit agape at what happened, though I've had death threats by voicemail. Find out the code to trace phone calls in your area. Sometimes they can do it retroactively. You can do that even if they've done anonymous call block. In the US, *69 will give you the number even if they've anonymous blocked.

FridaWrites said...

Save messages and call the police if this happens again. Please write down specifically what was said now in case it happens again, so you have a record of it. This blog also shows a record that it happened at a certain place and time.

The police did catch the person responsible in my case and followed through.

gracie1956 said...

Several years ago a guy called me on the phone and started out the conversation with, "it has taken me a long time to find you."
I'm thinking he must be an old friend. Then he said, "I'm going to kill you", well that got me awake. Then he said "don't let your daughter play outside" and I was terrified and frozen in place. I literally couldn't move.

Somewhere in the middle of all that I hit the record button on my answering machine and got most of it on tape. He continued to terrorize me for several minutes and then just hung up. I called the police and they came out to listen to the tape from my answering machine. They said there wasn't much they could do without knowing who it was and I had no idea and still don't know who it was some twenty-two years later. He never called back but he robbed me of my peace of mind for a very long time. He could have been a lot of people. At one time I worked in mental health, so it could have been someone I rubbed the wrong way there. But who knows, I never was able to figure it out even though I racked my brain for a long time.

All these years later I still replay that incident in my head sometimes. I wish I knew why or who but I probably never will. So, what do you do? You just go on because to live a life in fear is unthinkable to me. It is just not an option. I'm sorry you had to experience what you did. The bottom line is this, we are better than they want us to believe. That place inside us where we are who we are,is untouchable by cowards and terrorists. Screw the bastards! They will never have the good that we have and they will never be who they hope to be by diminishing good people to their level. SCREW 'EM!!!

rickismom said...

Unfortunately, people who hate don't have to make sense....

Lisa said...

I am so sad to read this Dave! And I am so sorry that you and Joe had to deal with this. I don't get people at all.... And like you said - if they don't like what you do they surely don't have to listen or read. I sure hope this does not happen again as I can understand how unnerving this must be for you both!

Lisa - Lily's mom

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