Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tater Tot Casserole: By Special Request
A couple days ago I wrote about making a tater tot casserole and in the comments there were two requests for the recipe. I've thought about this and decided that it would be fun to do another recipe blog. Not to worry, I haven't lost the disability focus, for your benefit I've put 'how to cook whilst being a cripple' hints in the instructions for this dish. We are vegetarians, we used faux groud beef in this recipe and it worked just fine. We are also cooks so we adapt every recipe we try. So here's our adapted recipe along with helpful handicapped hints.
1 chopped onion
1 chopped green pepper
1 cup frozen peas
2 pounds ground beef
2 cans cream of celery soup (most recipes call for cream of mushroom but Joe hates mushrooms, I love mushroom soup - but life together is compromise, compromise, compromise ... oh, yeah ... um ... onwards)
1 soup can of milk
1 bag frozen tater tots
1 and a half cup shredded cheddar cheese
Making the Casserole
1) make room in the kitchen for the wheelchair
2) organize work into walkie work and sittie work
3) if you don't say it people won't get it, assign walkie work to the walkie and sittie work to the sittee
4) chop up onion and green pepper and put them in a bowl ... sittee work ... make sure that cripple isn't in a black mood. We know that cripples can be murdering scum ... must be, I've seen their bitter twisted faces on the telly.
5) fry up the ground beef and dump in the bowl of peppers and onion, continue frying until beef is browned off like it's been denied access to a shop because of stairs and the onions and peppers look as wilted as if they'd just been through an interview with a social worker who couldn't spell ... benefits.
6) frying is best done by walkie unless sittie can also standie ... but in this house hold walkie does the frying sittie does the sitting, the closest this sittie comes to frying is, on occasion, stewing.
7) into a bowl empty the contents of the cans of soup and mix with the can of milk - make a joke about how the milk of human kindness should come in little containers so that you can force feed it to those unthinking bastards who grab your chair without permission.
8) walkie, now's the time to take the knife away
9) when the meat is fried and the onions and peppers are done, mix the soup into the meat and add the frozen peas - add salt and pepper.
10) I know that salt and pepper weren't on the ingredient list. No one who cooks needs salt and pepper an ingredient list, if you don't have salt and pepper in your house, you probably fry water.
11) Pour the meat mixture into a big pan ... I don't know sizes ... I'm a man, a gay man ... you'd trust me with inches ...?
12) Put tater tots all over top, don't just throw them on, take pride in your work ... food is art ... look at the picture if you need a guide.
13) Cook at 350 for 45 minutes then sprinkle on grated cheeze and set under broiler.
Wheel out of kitchen and watch television until dinner is ready. Just before eating, surreptitiously check outside to ensure that no nutritionist is anywhere in the area. You can recognize nutritionists on sight, they are typically wan, angry people who delight in nothing. As that wonderful combination of potato and cheese and meat enters your mouth ... remember, who the hell cares that you're in a chair when life tastes like this.
OK, the first two comments today asked what tater tots were ... maybe these aren't as universal as I thought they were, I've taken a photo of the bag of tater tots. I'm sure they exist in some form in every country that wants to control it's populace through food. If you need more information, like what they are called in various countries visit tater tots.