Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Moment on Mother's Day

We were having a delightful day. We went and picked up a street vendor veggie dog, ate it in the park and then strolled towards home. We went through George Hislop parkette and found the tree dedicated to Ron Shearer. It is Mother's Day after all and we felt, as very young gay men, very much parented by George and Ron, and as part of that exquisitely MOTHERED by Ron. It just felt right.

I had spoken to my own mother, both yesterday and today, the flowers and chocolate had arrived nicely, though the card didn't make it in time. So we'd done the day the way I think it was intended to be done.

After stopping for tea at Second Cup on Yonge Street, we headed to the book store to pick up a few books. I am 'in' to 'Merrily Watkins' right now and wanted to pick up the next in the series. I was in the line up to buy books. A long line, exclusively of women. An elderly woman wandered into the line and the woman in front of me offered her to go in front of her. We all smiled approvingly.

Having made her purchase the elderly woman stepped out of line and put her purse on a display of books near the counter. She tucked a greeting card into her purse. Her eye caught mine, sitting in the wheelchair made it easy to make direct eye contact. A little smile curled her lips and she said, explaining the greeting card, "My daughter is very busy, I pick out my Mother's Day card and she will sign it when she comes over for dinner tonight." Everyone heard this comment, directed to me, and I could feel the tension rise in the room.

I didn't know what to say so I sat silent for a moment and then said, "Well, I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day." She smiled a genuine smile and said, "Thank you so much for your kindness."

I handed my books to the clerk, a man, who took them and then slammed them each down after he scanned them. I said, "Whoa, I called my mom today."

"So did I," he said, "AND I bought a card."

To those of you who have mothered, 'Happy Mother's Day'.


Anonymous said...

Dear Dave,

its mothers day and all over the world mothers and children celebrate to have someone to care for and to be cared, to love and be loved. Children give flowers and chocolates and cards and mothers give love...

My mom is a teacher. She taught me and her children in class that everyday should be mothers day. Not only at one day every year but every day in every year mothers are always special (that is "if they are special" and do not hurt their children or the other way around)...

Its mothers day; and somewhere out there is a mother without her child, for three years now. Its mothers day; and there are two children without their mother since nearly 24 hours. Its mothers day; and I will probably never ever be a mother...

Its mothers day
and I am incredible sad...


Anonymous said...

Julia, this is not the first time that Dave's written about mothering having little to do with giving birth or even being a woman. From reading this blog, I've been able to think about being a mother and mothering as different things. No, I won't be a mother either, but I can and have taken on the responibility of mothering. I know this doesn't help, and I don't want to diminish the pain in your comment, I'm just telling you how the concept of mothering helped me.

Anonymous said...

Although Mother's Day is celebrated in at least 46 countries around the world - it is not all celebrated on the 2nd Sunday of May. The origins of mother's day was the hope for peace - the second was honoring the contribution of mothers, dead or alive. Surely these concepts are transferable to any with a mother's heart - a giving, loving, forgiving, encouraging and self-sacrificing heart. Why - that could be any one of us!!!!

So although I will never be a mother - I can demonstrate all the characteristics that we would like to see in any person that longs to touch people in a way that they are better for having been with you.

Happy Mother's Day!

Baba Yaga said...

Not that it has anything to do with the rest of your post. I've lately been into Merrily Watkins, too - the next book's missing from the library, so a splurge is in order. Nice to find shared tastes.