What I want. What I really, really want.
Is a trip without a story to tell.
What I want, is to check in, get on, get off, get car, go to hotel. All without drama. No one really likes travel. But I've found that as a disabled person I have to put up with the indignities of travel combined with the ignomy of receiving service from others. Needing help is bad enough, taking help is worse.
I've had so many good experiences but man I have had bad experiences. Right now, before getting in the car to go to the airport, all I can think of are the bad expereinces. They haunt me.
One of the guys I used to work with, a fellow with Down Syndrome, sometimes decided not to go out somewhere planned, he'd say, 'I don't feel like facing it today.' And I'd happily encourage him. How dim I was in those days. I so get it now. Some days, I just don't feel like facing the world. I can easily see how some become willing shut ins. I'm safe here in my place. I'm safe from the stares of strangers and the hostile help from those who are there to assist me.
So I hope my post tomorrow begins with, 'Nothing much happened on our trip to London ...'
Inside me there is a growing paranoia that needs to be quelled, not by medication, but by the experience of a nice trip full of nice people. I hope everyone who wears a uniform tomorrow also wears a smile. I hope that everyone charged with helping, does. I pray that every situation is dealt with kindly and the only turbulence be that which occurs in the air.
You know what I want?
I want experience to make a deposit in the trust account. I'd like to use it for moments that matter, like between me and God, not moments that don't like between me and the guy who pushes my chair at the airport - the one that thinks he's God.