Sunday, August 03, 2008


OK, I scared myself today.

I'm used to the lost agility that rides astride the twin horses of age and disability. Don't even think much about it. I've got my handy tool for picking things off the floor, I've lowered my expectations to well within reach, I'm good.

But I've always kind of prided myself at being mentally quite agile, I can fish for ideas from both sides of a stream, man, when it comes to being able to follow the fox, I'm almost lithe. Or so I thought. Until today.

This is our first real weekend in our new apartment. Last night we planned the day and had a list of three things we wanted to do, we put the list in order, we got up knowing what was going to happen and when it was going to happen. Then the cell rang. A friend was passing through town and wanted to drop in and visit, see the new apartment and catch up. Taken by surprise though I was, I cast aside our plans and agreed to the visit.

He'd be here in three hours.

So Joe and I had to pare the list down drastically. We managed to do so but then became completely discombobulated for the entire morning. We were like elderly versions of the Keystone Cops, our communication missed marks, our understanding of the day clashed, we tripped over each other as we went the same way differently. I actually found myself thinking ...

"I wish people would give us notice before just dropping in."

Um, three hours notice, and we were ASKED if it was ok.

Where was that mental flexibility of yore? Where was that guy who was good in the moment? Where was the guy who thought people who planned their weekends to the minute were kind of ... um ... anal?


No where near today.

But the visit came and went, we had a great time, ordered in some Chinese for lunch, chatted, yakked and gossiped. Then, an hour later, just after goodbyes. Joe said, "I need a nap."

I stayed up to watch television.

And fell asleep on the couch.



andrea said...

Dave and Joe,

I wouldn't panic. As you said, this was your first "real" weekend in your new apartment. You have only been there a short period of time, and I bet you can count the number of days that the unpacking has been pretty-much-finished on just your fingers.

I doubt that your mentally agility is reducing. Rather, the contrary: you have been using your mental agility SO MUCH MORE than usual, with the moving and re-arranging and adapting and building countless new routines.

But using all that high-level mental agility for so long means that your brains need more down-time. This was your first weekend that you have had available for down time. And although visiting with friends is energising, having friends over to your new home means engaging in lots of those new routines and strategies, which as you pointed out indirectly, are not yet running on "autopilot".

My "diagnosis"? You're not getting old, you're getting moved in. It's Sunday. Plan a day of REST already!


rickismom said...

Yeaqh, It's funny. Somedays when I have TONS to do, all planned out in advance, SO much gets done. And sometimes when things are a bit off schuedule, it seems that nothing gets done. But is it really "nothing"? Did you maybe tiddy up a bit (company's coming), do the dishes, look for that book the person coming said he was interested in, etc....

Also, after several high power days (like moving ones), sometimes your body and spirit need to reoup. That's why I tell parents coming home from the hospital not to think "Well, not that I am finally home, I can get something done..." It just doesn't work. You need a few days or weeks just to regroup and unwind.

Belinda said...

This reminds me of the phone calls we often get, "Mom, can we come over with the kids after church?" :)

We love them, but when we had been anticipating glorious "alone time" we do have to shift gears.

And yes, we do collapse in exhaustion afterwards!

Anonymous said...


(who feels her age herself)

Heike Fabig said...

Oh but Dave, your visitors came to see you and Joe, not to check on how unpacked you are after your move. Isn't it funny how we feel the need to 'get the place in order' when people come round? We moved a year ago, and i still have unpacked boxes and messy rooms where i store things for unpacking or selling on ebay one day ... Hope you had some r&r on Sunday.