Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tater Tot Casserole: By Special Request

A couple days ago I wrote about making a tater tot casserole and in the comments there were two requests for the recipe. I've thought about this and decided that it would be fun to do another recipe blog. Not to worry, I haven't lost the disability focus, for your benefit I've put 'how to cook whilst being a cripple' hints in the instructions for this dish. We are vegetarians, we used faux groud beef in this recipe and it worked just fine. We are also cooks so we adapt every recipe we try. So here's our adapted recipe along with helpful handicapped hints.


1 chopped onion

1 chopped green pepper

1 cup frozen peas

2 pounds ground beef

2 cans cream of celery soup (most recipes call for cream of mushroom but Joe hates mushrooms, I love mushroom soup - but life together is compromise, compromise, compromise ... oh, yeah ... um ... onwards)

1 soup can of milk

1 bag frozen tater tots

1 and a half cup shredded cheddar cheese

Making the Casserole

1) make room in the kitchen for the wheelchair

2) organize work into walkie work and sittie work

3) if you don't say it people won't get it, assign walkie work to the walkie and sittie work to the sittee

4) chop up onion and green pepper and put them in a bowl ... sittee work ... make sure that cripple isn't in a black mood. We know that cripples can be murdering scum ... must be, I've seen their bitter twisted faces on the telly.

5) fry up the ground beef and dump in the bowl of peppers and onion, continue frying until beef is browned off like it's been denied access to a shop because of stairs and the onions and peppers look as wilted as if they'd just been through an interview with a social worker who couldn't spell ... benefits.

6) frying is best done by walkie unless sittie can also standie ... but in this house hold walkie does the frying sittie does the sitting, the closest this sittie comes to frying is, on occasion, stewing.

7) into a bowl empty the contents of the cans of soup and mix with the can of milk - make a joke about how the milk of human kindness should come in little containers so that you can force feed it to those unthinking bastards who grab your chair without permission.

8) walkie, now's the time to take the knife away

9) when the meat is fried and the onions and peppers are done, mix the soup into the meat and add the frozen peas - add salt and pepper.

10) I know that salt and pepper weren't on the ingredient list. No one who cooks needs salt and pepper an ingredient list, if you don't have salt and pepper in your house, you probably fry water.

11) Pour the meat mixture into a big pan ... I don't know sizes ... I'm a man, a gay man ... you'd trust me with inches ...?

12) Put tater tots all over top, don't just throw them on, take pride in your work ... food is art ... look at the picture if you need a guide.

13) Cook at 350 for 45 minutes then sprinkle on grated cheeze and set under broiler.

Wheel out of kitchen and watch television until dinner is ready. Just before eating, surreptitiously check outside to ensure that no nutritionist is anywhere in the area. You can recognize nutritionists on sight, they are typically wan, angry people who delight in nothing. As that wonderful combination of potato and cheese and meat enters your mouth ... remember, who the hell cares that you're in a chair when life tastes like this.


OK, the first two comments today asked what tater tots were ... maybe these aren't as universal as I thought they were, I've taken a photo of the bag of tater tots. I'm sure they exist in some form in every country that wants to control it's populace through food. If you need more information, like what they are called in various countries visit tater tots.


Defying Gravity said...

Ah, but what are tater tots?!!

Anonymous said...

I also came to find out what tater tots are.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I was all excited when I read you were writing up a recipe suitable for crips...then I actually read the post and realised it's just a recipe which can be made by someone in a wheelchair with a walking partner/family member/carer etc
I'm not sure where to start with how terrible this is on a blog purporting to represent disabled people...is it the lack of understanding that most disabled people don't use wheelchairs, or that they don't have an 'able bodied' (for this purpose) assistant willing and ready to help cook, or is it the idea that all people sat in wheelchairs have sufficient hand strength and dexterity to merrily chop whatever they wish.
I could go on, but as this was well intentioned I won't.
Bendy Girl

CM20 said...

My UK guess would be that taters are croquettes?!
Love the recipe. Might send it to staff who keep looking for "programmes" to be written for them. Wouldlove to see them assigning work to the "standie" and the "sittie"!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Dave. Not only did I laugh my assets off reading all your disability hints but now I know what is for supper tonight!
You truly are a jem of a man! thanks for listening!

FridaWrites said...

#7 and #10--okay, now I definitely have to put down the coffee while I read blogs. Don't touch the chair!

Our recipes on scouting/school activity nights would involve a lot of running around/instructions to children interspersed with the cooking. Sprinkling of stress.

Shan said...

Oh man that is so funny, I'm dying over here.

And Bendy Girl, may I say that Dave's blog is not just for us - the readers. Dave's blog is for Dave too, it's about his life, and he has a partner, and Joe and Dave cook together. We can be happy for them, right?


Anonymous said...

I love that you put pictures in your blog now. My mouth is watering and I am going to have to go to the store to get ingredients so I can cook this tonight. I am the sitie and my daughter is the standie and we make quite a team in the kitchen! I also love the extra instructions!

FridaWrites said...

I just posted our smoothie recipe from tonight. We haven't made the tater tot casserole in a long time but my son liked it before, so we'll have to try it again.

Heike Fabig said...

Hmm, not sure Dave... Are you really meant to eat this stuff?

Jodi said...

I loved this! Thanks for the laughs. Spud Puppies!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for sometime but decided to delurk as your tater tot recipe reminded me of a story I thought you would get a kick out of. We have an old Jewish folk tale book called 'Latkes Latkes Good to Eat' and my daugher loves the story about a magic frying pan that feeds a hungry family. One night, in her effort to tell me what book she wanted to hear before bedtime exclaimed "you know - that tater tot book!" I've never looked at a tater tot quite the same again.

Your recipe sounds great, I'm not sure I can get past the nutritional value of it though, hee hee the version I have is made with Spam of all things - haven't tried it either. LOL

Keep up the great blog, I love it.


Wendy said...

I like your humor casserole creation... However I am curious as to why it is not casseroll wink! wink!

In honor of the sittie of course but I guess this would depend on how much the walkie played a part..

Kristen said...

Thanks for the recipe Dave! Since I loathe peas, I substituted red and yellow peppers. Next time, I think I might add corn and/or mushrooms (we are mushroom lovers!). And, it will last a few days, which is fantastic for me!!!

benee said...


Thanxs for the recipe. My kids loved it and so did mom. It was much better than the picture!! It looked like vomit...but did not taste like it!!

viagra online said...

oh excellent I'm gonna try it, thanks for share, it seems like it's gonna take a long time haha