Guess what I like about being disabled, specifically being in a wheelchair. This is not an odd question, there are good things, upsides, to everything. Being in the wheelchair definately has some up sides so, go on guess ...
Did you guess, parking?
Well, yeah, but what's even better than parking is sitting in the wheelchair waiting to get in the car while the illegal parkers slink by in shame.
Did you guess, early boarding on airplanes?
Well, yeah, but that's primarily so that we get first dibs on the overhead baggage compartment.
Did you guess, the simpering smiles that strangers pass along when they see me in the mall?
Well, actually, no - but thanks for trying.
Someone yesterday suggested that it must be good to be in a wheelchair because I can grab anyone's body anywhere and then just smile simply at them like I didn't understand. It was a woman who suggested this ... you know who you are.
What I really, really like about being in a wheelchair is I now have a 'wheelchair bag' that hangs on the back of my chair. Wow. Now, I'm a man. I have pockets and a wallet and that's it. I never got into 'man bags' or satchels or any of that stuff. I grew up in a small town in the Rockies - men were men, inside and out. But now, I have a wheelchair bag. It's so distant from anything resembling a purse that I don't have to feel that I'm shaking social convention. I don't know how I managed for 52 years without one. I've got everything I need in there.
three different kinds of tea, white, green and oo long - not every restaurant has the options I prefer
my diabetes blood tester
a couple of juices should my blood ever be low
a condom - some find disabled fat guys hot - be prepared
the section of the newspaper with the crossword in it (this is for Joe)
a cattle prod - you need to some way of repulsing those who want to lay hands on and pray
an extra pair of dollar store glasses
change for parking meters and for street musicians
a can of diet coke (this is, again, for Joe)
a couple of dog treats for dogs that we run into on the street
Wow, huh? All these years of coping with being without is over. If I need it, want it or worry about not having it, it pops into the wheelchair bag. Ah, I can feel the growing envy of you two footers out there who have to fit everything thing into pockets or small purses ... not me, I've got a big old cloth grocery bay hanging off the back of my chair lugging all that I will need.
So, to heck with the frustrations of curbs and sidewalks in winter. I've got a wheelie bag! All will be well.
Now if you were in an electric wheelchair you could say you liked being able to go long distances with out being tired and also beating everyone there!
This link will take you to a tragic story...
Here is the last part of the news link:
Can I borrow the cattle prod? My neighbors are looking askance at me and I'm afraid I might be prayed over...
Thanks for the humor--I want the cattle prod too, or maybe just a taser. Take that! It is nice to be able to carry more these days--I was very limited in what I could carry before.
The doggie treats are a good idea. I've thought of mace, but treats tossed down might be better. Might not work for really aggressive beasts, though.
That's awful re. the disabled man (comments)--the sheriff said they used "standard procedure," but sometimes standard procedure does't apply. Common sense and compassion, however, always apply.
For anyone who had trouble copy/pasting the above link:
Thanks for the evening giggle. Best thing about the bag on the back of the chair is you don't get a sore back, neck or shoulders from lugging the huge bag around.
Tag, You're It!
I enjoyed that Dave! from p.t.
DO you have your monkey wallet in your bag? LOL! thanks for the laugh!
I just got my bag on Wednesday. I felt great pride in receiving it. I had researched the proper bag with almost as great care as I had put into the research of my chair. My family is being indulgent. They examine the bag and have not yet said "silly-it's just another back pack." They know that when we go to disneyworld they will reap the benefits of my bag. They will stuff it full of water bottles and assorted goods that seem like a good idea to purchase-till we get home and have to find a place to keep them. For me it is a great comfort-usefulness. I can carry their stuff. I cancarry my own wallet (a monkey wallet amazingly enough). I can still be useful and not as the woman who gets to board the plane first along with my entourage. I can lug stuff. I will carry the weight. It is awesome so yeah, the bag might just be the best thing about the wheelchair.
I Need the cattle prod for people who just have to feel my pregnant belly!!
Thanks for the smiles!!
And yes a wheelchair bag is MUCH better than a man bag- or even a handbag!!
Ha! I have my basket on my walking trolley which is almost as good :) I can sit on the seat of the trolley when I get tired in a line-up, I can dump everything into my basket, including my over-full handbag, and I can let my daughter ride on the seat of my trolley when she gets grumpy because everything is taking too long. Being disabled is not all bad :)
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