Well, now, that was nice.
It was nearing lunch time, the server went down, what the heck. I put my bag on the back of my wheelchair and went out to heat up lunch in the microwave. I haven't had a hot lunch at work for months and months. Having lost the ability to stand for any length of time without getting virtigo and the feeling of panic that results from the certainty that I'm going to fall over, made me very hesitant to try anything that could result in a loud thud as flab hits concrete. So, it's been cold lunches at my desk.
But since I resolved just to 'be' disabled I hopped in the chair and headed down to the kitchen. On the way there I was thinking about the interview I read a few months back where a reporter was talking to Stevie Wonder about a new record. Or at least Stevie was trying to get the reporter onto the subject of his new record. The reporter got stuck on Stevie being blind and kept asking all sorts of wierd questions about being a 'blind musician', you know a 'blind piano player' and a 'blind singer'. You could tell from his responses, patient at first, that he was growing tired of too much 'blind' and not enough 'music'. Finally, he broke when she asked, 'What advice would you give someone who is blind?" His response, paraphrasing here, don't have the exact quote at hand, "Be blind, just be blind, that's what you are, so be blind."
I remember being struck by the profundity of that remark. Even though he spoke in frustration, I thought it was a brilliant bit of advice. Even though, as I was reading it, I was refusing to 'Be disabled, that's what I am, so be disabled.' I was still refusing to use my chair at work. But now, I'm on my to have a hot lunch.
I got to the lunchroom and the chair zooms around well, though I had to move a couple things that were in the way. But I put on a couple frozen burrittos and sat and waited. A few seconds later two women from the administration part of the office came in and suddenly we were chatting about the new character on the Young and the Restless (Victor's son by Hope) and just generally jawing. It was nice.
Lunch heated, I put it in my bag along with a plate and a fork, I was on my way back. I parked my chair in my office and sat down at my desk. Just then someone popped into my office wanting to talk about something quickly before she had to leave. We talked for 15 to 20 minutes and she thanked me for my time and headed out.
I pulled my lunch from the back and plopped it on my desk. It had gone cold. Well, cool. Oh, well, a hot lunch TOMORROW. Because, I got the chair. And ...
I'm gonna be disabled, because that's what I am, so I'm gonna be disabled.