It took me by shock this morning. Signing on to do my daily post has become routine and as such I don't really look at what's happening on the computer screen. But, feeling a bit zoned out from the travel and getting used to being at home, today I was actually reading the screen. I noticed that today I will be writing my 500th blog post.
That's a lot of posts.
I remember when I started writing this blog I had intended to write for only a year. But the year passed and I continued writing, the habit being hard to break. I wanted to write a blog for several reasons, primarily I wanted to document, somewhere, thoughts and ideas about having a disability, working in the field of disability, living the life given to me. At first I wrote blogs that were aimed at being more 'educational' and 'instructive' ... like I was telling stories at a lecture, stories with a point. But that grew tired for me, and after a while I began just writing about what I saw and felt. The little stories that happen around me, the reactions that happen within me, the thoughts that occasionally occur as a result.
Joe and I have never been into photography, we have virtually no pictures of our life together. Some of our friends have more pictures of us that we have of ourselves. Over the years, we've talked about how we, as we get older, might regret that. Well, we're getting older and the regret hasn't happened yet. I think we rely on stories, the stories we've experienced together, as the primary source of our memories.
After reading the story I wrote about the couple having breakfast in Kamloops, Joe said, "This blog has become like our family photo album, hasn't it?"
And it kind of has.
Sometimes, I look over the blog and am transported to various places that we've travelled. Our trips to England are well documented and the stories bring back images to my mind. Our trip to Nova Scotia is there for all to see. Were we go, the experiences appear here on this blog.
Sometimes, I read entries and can't believe that I've written what I've written for the world to see. It's like I forget that this is a public diary - and glimpses of inner life are laid bare for all to see. But then I realize that the sky hasn't fallen in, it's all OK.
Sometimes, I read old posts and see that the role of disability in my life has been an informative one. I began this blog as someone with a new disability. Someone who had just recently sat down in a wheelchair. The change from a new identity as as person with a disability to an established identity of a disabled person, has been subtle but dramatic.