Friday, December 22, 2006

And a Partridge in a Pear Tree

Today I'm going shopping for a dildo and a butt plug - on work time, on a work mission. There are times I love working in the area of sexuality. This is one of them. Most of the time working at the respected end of the sex trade is actually more depressing than titilating - working with offenders, working with victims, is interesting and fulfilling but it's mostly sad. But not today - I'm going shopping for a dildo and a butt plug. I'm going to buy things for people to have fun with.

The weird thing is that when I'm actually in the store looking for the purchase, I get kind of shy. I want to yell out "I'M HERE IN A PROFESSIONAL CAPACITY AS A THERAPIST WORKING WITH THOSE WHO ONCE HAD THEIR SEXUALITY REPRESSED - THESE ARE NOT FOR ME!!!" I will glance around and see others glancing back at me. I will feel kind of, I don't know, dirty. A dirty boy. Picking up dirty things. With dirty intentions.

I know exactly what I'm looking for - I've been given instructions. A thumb sized butt plug and a medium sized dildo. Suddenly I realize what these are for and get images in my head that are unwelcome and slightly icky. But that's OK, I'm a professional, man, I do this for a living. I know that the store I'm going to is accessible because I've shopped there before, always in a professional capacity of course. But this is the first time I'm going in to the store in my wheelchair.

Can you see it? A fat guy in a wheelchair looking at dildos and butt plugs. I can just imagine what people will think. An evil grin is creeping over my face, tee hee, tee hee, they are going to be thinking about ME and the dildo and butt plug - images of my fat disabled body, ummm, interacting with the dildo and butt plug will be dancing in their head. Tee hee, tee hee, they will have to think of me as an adult male with an adult male sexuality. They won't like it. I don't care. Tee hee, tee hee. It'll be good for them - here they are in a store shopping for edible panties and leather nipple clamps and they will have their stereotypes challenged. What a blessing my chair is - for others! Tee hee, tee hee.

Sometimes I love my job, I do, I do.

What did you do at work today dear?

I went shopping for a dildo and a butt plug ... and how was your day honey?


Anonymous said...

Dear Dave- I get where your coming from. I mean that, tongue in umm.. cheek, of course.Frances

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud at this one!

Tee hee, tee hee indeed!