How To Tell If Someone is A Good Friend:
I've had a rough couple of days. Days filled with frustration and disappointment and tinged with anger. Some of the things that happened were ultimately my fault a result of my mistakes. Some of them, the worst of them, were completely outside my control.
I feel sorry for myself.
I was telling a friend about what happened and the decision I had to make, which I didn't want to make, as a result of all that has gone on. It's a decision that denies me something I was looking forward too, it's a decision that has me crying 'not fair, not fair, not fair' to an empty sky. Shit.
After I finished telling my friend about this, she did what she does, and this is why I told her, and helped me think through the issues and options. I have a habit of forgetting about options. And I found her chat helpful. Even though I'm still sad, I'm a little less angry, but I'm still massively feeling sorry for myself.
Then she said, "You could probably use a hug."
I said, "No, I don't think so."
There are times I don't want hugs. There are times when touch is intrusive. There are times when support is best given at arms length. This is one of those times.
She, being a friend, didn't push it, accepted my 'no', wasn't hurt by my 'no', and we simply went on.
Good friends know when 'no' means 'no'.