Sunday, February 09, 2014

Dx via TV PHD

About an hour into our trip, we are on the road again, Joe remembered that he'd forgotten to bring my weights for my daily exercise routine. Me, being me, thinks immediately, "Darn, that means I won't be able to do any exercises for the week." I couldn't find it in myself to be horribly disappointed. But during our four hour drive I began to think about what it would be like to have to get back into what I'd eagerly let myself out of - I'd figure out a way to still get the exercise in. I did have, after all some exercise YouTube videos that didn't involve weights, I could focus on those.

But then, when we went shopping for stuff for dinner. I had a thought. I told Joe that I was heading over to the detergent aisle. He nodded, thinking that I was picking up a small bottle so that we could do laundry in the small laundrettes that the hotel chain we stay in has in their hotels. But no! I found the aisle and looked at row upon row upon row of laundry stuff.

I set myself at the start of it and started lifting bottles. I wanted to find two bottles, of reasonable weight and of a shape that would work for lifting. Some of the bigger bottles were much lighter than some of the smaller bottles. I'm not a scientist and can barely do math, I have no explanation as to how that could be true. So, slowly, I made my way down the aisle picking up bottle after bottle, feeling it's weight, assessing its shape and then moving further down. I thought I'd try a bunch and then go back and pick the one that I felt had enough weight to be usable and had a good 'lift-ability' factor.

About three or four minutes into this, I notice a young man, maybe eighteen years old, with his mother. They were watching me with a kind of startled interest. They weren't staring at me, they were watching my behaviour. Of course, they assume, as many do, that people with disabilities either can't hear the spoken word or can't understand those words when clapboarded into a sentence. So I listen to them trying to diagnose my 'symptoms.' I find this profoundly funny. They talk about my obsession with the laundry soap. They talk about my needing to lift and touch the bottles. I heard the word 'sensory' spoken a couple of times. It's PHD television.

So, I've settled on the soap that feels right and is good with lift-ability. The last question will be answered when Joe arrives. Which he does just as I'm finished. I want to know if I've picked a brand we'd use, because after getting home, the soap can stop being weights and become soap again. Joe said that my first choice, which he'd leaned down to look at, was fine. I heard them talking, relieved that my staff was there. I whispered to Joe, "Kiss me." Joe looked startled, and  I said it again, "Kiss me." He shrugged his shoulders but as he stood up again he planted one on me.

They were shocked, I rolled by them saying, "That's a sensory experience I like too!"

I'm still chuckling at the shocked look on their faces. Ain't never seen THAT on TV.

16 comments:

Blog editor said...

Very good!

Jill

Defying Gravity said...

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha!

Maggie said...

I'm laughing out loud. What a lovely way to redirect their assumptions about what they saw.

I bet you had fun doing it, too. Besides finding the right laundry weights, I mean.

Thanks for starting my morning off with a laugh.

Jayne Wales said...

Just brilliant. I would have thought you were a weights and measures inspector and warned the store the " authorities " were in.

DandG said...

I love it! I just hope they didn't think Joe was doing that "in a professional capacity" or worse, that you were molesting him!

Karen Couperthwaite said...

Thank you Dave for starting my birthday morning off with a laugh. I would of loved to be in that aisle lol

Just Heidi said...

Bahahahahaahahahahaaa!!! :) Well played!

liebjabberings said...

You need to BE a TV show - this is just hilarious. Let's get you syndicated.

Alicia

Anonymous said...

Best laugh in days!! Thanks! L

clairesmum said...

You and Joe are having way too much fun in the grocery store!
A question, tho. PHD - not an acronym I recognize from the states.

Deb said...

Dave, you are as full of mischief as my year-old kitten! Love it.

Dave Hingsburger said...

Clairesmum ... PhD ... like a PhD in psychology ... a doctorate.

Anonymous said...

Hee, Hee, Hee :)
Love it! Rock on Dave and Joe.
Dave, I'm proud of you keeping up on the exercise even on the road. It's important regardless of our limitations.
When the jugs are empty keep them in the travel kit and fill them with water when you get to your destination...cheaper than loosing one of your weights and lighter to travel with.

emma vanderklift said...

OK. I'm home sick in bed today, but after that I feel seriously better. Can we go shopping together next time we're in TO?

Praveen Thondalil Prasad said...

Its time to change the public assumption and beliefs towards people with disabilities. Moreover if there's a will there's a way.

Anonymous said...

I love all of this, especially the joke on the "sensory" folks. But what impresses most of all is your determination to find a way to keep exercising and the way you spent time and effort to make sure that would happen. My own exercise program falls by the wayside with far fewer obstacles. I could certainly use a bit more of your kind of gumption.

Sue