I have been the victim of a 'confluence'.
I don't think that people who don't walk should ever get the runs. I've been popping Imodium like Tic Tac's simply hoping it will all go away. I've been keeping pretty much on schedule with travelling and lecturing in spite of feeling low physically.
Typically I am an optimist, I have made my way through dark times by believing in light. However, some of the stories I have heard over the last little while, the pain with which the stories have been told, have clouded my soul. I began to feel despairing. I began to feel hopeless.
Opening an email entitled, 'note to dave from a fan' brought me a message that stated that I was nothing but a frivolous fraud. I do not wish to describe further the mean spirited message and the vitriol with which I was attacked. Normally I shake this kind of thing off, it's not the first time its happened, I know it won't be the last. But I couldn't shake it.
I sat down and wrote my blog yesterday in a moment that was the confluence of three separate streams of existence. I decided to take action and ask for consideration in the demands made on me as a blog writer, an increase in responses so that I knew what I did mattered, and it felt good to have done something.
Then, a little after noon I called Joe and simply said, 'I need to be sick. I need to shake this bug.' He took action and gave me a day tomorrow where I can sleep in and rest. He did it without muss or fuss. The people that my illness inconvenienced were understanding and even kind. They allowed me time to get better and didn't guilt me for doing so.
Before leaving work, I sat down with a couple of people who I know to be 'giant killers' and began to talk about a grass roots approach to bullying, teasing and social violence. We talked with purpose as if the problem was 'solveable' we talked hopefully. These are two people who 'do' things. I came away feeling a bit like something was begun. It mattered to me to not be idle. To not simply be overwhelmed by the hugeness of the issues.
I got home and opened my blog comments, something that I can't do at work, and saw the flood of affirmations from you all. I felt, at first, embarrassed that I had bothered you all with my whining. Then, I realized that I have always believed that 'if you need something - ask for it'. I needed. I asked. You responded. Thanks.
So I'm writing this at night before going to bed into a night that doesn't have an early morning. I'm going to rest up and beat the 'bug'. Thanks to those who understood. Thanks to those who listened. Thanks to those who responded.
What's that song ... the sun will come out ...
25 comments:
Glad the comments helped Dave, and I hope you are feeling better soon.
Being sick really stinks. Glad you're able to rest and fight it off. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
It is truly incomprehensible to me how anyone could write a nasty note about this blog when you don't hurt or attack anyone.
I'm glad the comments helped, and I agree that it's not whining -- it's definitely okay to ask for what you need, and to let people know when you would like more feedback than you're getting.
Feel better Dave. We need you! Many blessings, Robyn and Seth
Rest and take care of yourself.
I hope you are feeling better really really soon! Relaxation is a wonderful thing!
-KR
About having the runs, I find that a tablet or two of Benefiber is very helpful against both diarrhea and constipation, and very useful in just keeping regular.
As for that guy called you a "frivolous fraud", he's of no more significance than a fart in the wind, because you really do have quite a few loyal fans. And the only reason I can see for that is that we really like what you have to say.
I often find that when I'm feeling ill my usual ability to brush off negativity takes a down turn too. Stuff that normally wouldn't bother me just seems much bigger when when I'm already feeling under the weather.
Hopefully a day off (and we all need a day off sometimes) will bring you back fighting fit and maybe you'll see that the negative e-mail you received was just the opinion of one person. The rest of us very much appreciate what you do.
Get better soon!!
Glad you are taking a day off-it is important to do that when you are sick.
I'm sorry you got that email and on a day when you didn't have your 'shields up' so to speak.
Hope you are feeling better both physically and emotionally. Take a day or two and relax with Joe and just breathe!
Dear Dave:
I am sorry to hear that you are ill. I think that you thought you had beaten this bug on Wednesday. Stay home, rest up, let your body heal.
That Joe - a handy guy to have around :-)
Take care, feel better soon!
Colleen
Feel better quick! And, glad the comments yesterday helped!
The wheeliecrone says -
Tomorrow. That's when the sun will come out. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun.
And I hope that tomorrow you will feel a whole lot better.
Take care of yourself, Dave.
I have just commented on your last post, but I wanted to say that I hope you always wear yellow. ♥
I want to see you. I want to hear you. Most of all, I listen to you; just like so many other parents who are trying to figure out how to provide the support and skills for our child to take care of himself in society when we're no longer around.
Sorry, my comment is coming off as mushy, but I think after watching how much you put into your workshops about self-advocacy and bullying, I can't help but feel like I need to say something to encourage you and the importance of what you do.
Feel better soon!
Glad to hear you are taking time to care for yourself and the people around you are supporting you in doing so. I just wanted to say that your stories about Ruby are my favorites (and I love all your blog posts). They give me hope that our future will be a more loving and accepting society.
Daisy
Dave, I'm sorry I rarely comment, but please know, I ALWAYS find what you write fascinating, informative, and extremely well-written. Don't let the small-minded people get you down.
As the father of a beautiful little girl with Williams syndrome, and as a left BK amputee, I find your blog especially informative and thought-provoking. I have always hated the use of the 'r' word as an insult, even as a young kid.
Get well soon, Dave! I'll try to be better about commenting, but always know, you are read and admired by multitudes for saying what we wish to say, if only we could find the words.
Your comment that people who don't walk shouldn't get the runs made me laugh at first...sorry about that. I thought you were making a general statement. (Toilet humour is my favourite:o) Then I read that you're actually really sick and I felt bad. Sorry you were so sick and I hope it is past tense by now. It's no fun.
I for one really enjoy reading your blog and I find it horrifying to think that people go out of their way to say nasty things to you. I figure, if you don't like it, don't read it. It disturbs me when people are so purposefully mean.
Hang in there. You do a great job...keep up the good work!
"I don't think that people who don't walk should ever get the runs."
Made me chuckle! Thanks!
Hi Dave,
I don't think I've ever left a comment, but I read your blog every day. I think about the things you say. I've learned some important things - like how to speak up when I witness others dismiss or mistreat those who don't fit the mold.
I guess I'd just like to say thanks. Thanks for helping me find words to insist that, at least in my presence, everyone will be treated with the respect and dignity that is their right as a human being.
I'm just an ordinary person. I seldom see anybody stand up for anyone else. Reading your blog gave me ideas for how I could stand up for others, and I do it now. It's a good thing.
I know this is a personal blog. I know you blog for yourself. You don't owe me or anyone anything. For what it's worth, though, I would miss it if you were to stop.
Best wishes.
Sounds like your spirit and your body needed a rest. You give a lot of yourself to many, many people and it makes sense you would need to regenerate once in a while. I hope you had a restful day doing whatever you wanted to do. I appreciate your blog every single day, thank you!
Get well soon :)
There's nothing like a confluence (sounds very painful lol) to bring you down; it's days like that which let a stray meanie ruin your week, don't let them, we value your blog for being YOUR blog :)
Prayers going out to you for a quick recovery.
Feel better Dave.
You know, Dave, you seem to me like a very generous man. I think you should share your present malady with the snarky e-mailers mentioned in your last post. They certainly deserve it, since they're full of mammal output product.
You are one of the three bloggers I never miss, no matter how busy, even if I have to check back a few days to catch up. The gallantry and insight you consistently display are awesome, and you have taught me some enormously useful things.
Hope you are all better by now :-)
We went on vacation without internet and now I'm coming back to catch up. I really am a fan, thanks for all you do!
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