Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Grow Up

Man, you've got to have buckets of patience to be disabled. If you are going to survive you've got to learn to let the small things go. Further, you've got to be able to recognize what's small stuff. This is both the blessing and the curse of disability. Personal growth is forced on you - grow or stew in bitterness and anger. There is no other choice. It's a choice that I think might just be good for everyone, but the non-disabled sometimes seem to be able to step over the need to develop a sense of proportion.

Yeah, I'm leading up to something. I went into the liquor store tonight to pick up some beer. It was a tough go. They were restocking one part of the store and redesigning another. My normal route was blocked with boxes of wine, carrier carts full of vodka, step stools for climbing high. I had to take a breath and then begin to scout a passageway. It was quite convoluted and at times I had to go in the opposite direction so that I could get to a pathway leading back.

I get to the beer section and pick up some beer loading it into my carrier bag. Once done it was full and I was carrying it while driving back. Again, making my way labouriously thorough the store. Now, here's the thing. Big deal. I had to thread my way through the store to get where I wanted. At least I got to see sections that I never look at. Some of the bottles were worth the trip. Big deal that it took me longer. Big deal that I had to ask, once, for something to be moved. Big deal. In the great scheme of things, it doesn't matter.

But on the way back a woman was standing trying to select a wine. My bag was heavy and balanced precariously on my belly. It truly was a beer belly at that moment. Anyways, I used my sweeter than honey voice to say, 'Would you mind letting me scoot behind you?' Well, you'd think I'd stuck a cold beer up her ass! She harrumphed and made a big deal out of having to move. It may have taken her 4 seconds to move and let me pass but it was a big deal.

Can you imagine what it would have done to her if she had to thread her way through the store, my God she would have needed therapy. A small thing upset her. I can't imagine her coping with a cold let alone a life in a wheelchair.

Big stuff - over come it.

Little stuff - let it go.

Now if I could embroider, I'd make a pillow.


Dad said...

Love it, we Wife and I (shh we are both somewhat "disworded") often comment in amusement that with all we have been put through we should be as miserable as sin.

yet it seems through trials there come joy and great amusement at what others find serious difficulties looking back what were great stressors and difficulties are now amusing in hindsight. Thank God for being disworded it gives one a far greater appreciation of how simple and unimportant nasty things in life can be especially when bridged and gotten over

FridaWrites said...

I wonder what moves people to act this way versus be helpful.

When I have needed or asked for help in this way or if someone just asks if I need assistance, I've noticed that often someone else will ask if they can help too. Like helping is contagious? Before that people seem hesitant. I've also noticed the reverse is true, as with your post yesterday.

Maybe we with disabilities need to tap into that group mentality somehow? In productive ways!

FridaWrites said...

PS-I like the purple.

Lerne said...

Good one. I really don't understand how huffy people get at having to take a step to the side. As if it's their personal liquor store.

Whenever I'm faced with a store having been made inaccessible by staff choosing to make it so, I approach a staff member and very nicely ask them to get me what I need "because I can't get through" whilst batting my baby blues. And consider the inconvenience of being derailed to get stuff for me a learning opportunity for them - guess what, sweetheart, if you make your store accessible, you won't have to do extra work when I come into the place.

What? Me, bitchy?? Never! ;)

Lene said...

Umm... That was Lene. Not Lerne. Cat walked on the keyboard.

Anonymous said...

I know it wasn't the point of your writing today, but now I really feel in the mood for a beer. Hope I one day get the chance to share a few drinks with you, Dave. Hope you enjoyed the ones you bought :)

Dad said...

Wife met a person she worked with 8 years ago last night.

He spotted her at a distance and ran up calling out her name and (although now much much taller than she) threw his arms around her and hugged her hugely.

A short chat with him and his Mother and then another hug and plea to come home with her.
Wife said she'd have to ask me first.

Such are the rewards of working with Autistic children, no payment or money can equal such rewards.

For my part I still see the stunned look on someones face 8 years ago when they turned around and saw the lad and I behind them at the very top of a high Mountain.

I did not lead him he wanted to go and I just followed right to the top and of course down again.
never underestimate anybody!

Dad said...

woops meant to post that last one on the dignity lost dignity gained post

Kristin said...

People can be so ridiculous.

BTW, I love Big stuff - over come it.

Little stuff - let it go.