Determining Borders

I lay claim to ...

MY ANGER: I have a right to anger. I have a right to indignation. As a person with a disability, I am allowed more than the single emotion of gratitude. I have seen people with intellectual disabilities forced into and then drugged out of anger. I have seen people with disabilities punished for legitimate emotion, penalized for authentic reactions, 'programmed' for natural responses. I tire of the stereotype - of the happy cripple, the grinning face of Down Syndrome, the cheery 'pluck' that inspires the world. I wish to raise my voice in angry dissent. I will to the use of anger in my armoury of protest. I believe that we, as disabled people have not discovered the power of anger. It's time.

I lay claim to ...

MY RIGHT TO CHOOSE MY OWN BATTLES: I get several emails a week from readers who suggest stories and ideas for me to write about. I appreciate each and every one of them. I actually follow up on maybe two or three a month. Most who write are clear in that they are saying 'if you'd like - here's something you might want to write about'. Some, when I don't, hammer at me like I've let down the side, like it's my job to write what they want for them. Others attack me for the things that I do write about, belittling things that piss me off but don't push their buttons. This is my life, these are my battles, this blog and these 'fights' take up a fair bit of energy. I give what I can. I cannot manufacture passion. I cannot pretend to caring. If it's there, it's there. Sorry.

I lay claim to ...

MY LIFE AS I LIVE IT: I will not stop writing about Joe, or about Mike, Marissa, Ruby and Sadie. I will not confine my blogs to issues solely about disability. I will not limit my gaze to only one aspect of my life. I do try to maintain a consistent focus on disability and a consistent voice on issues around life as a person with a disability. I begin this blog to explore, for me, the world as a disabled person. I still do this. I still want to do this. But I do not want to sanitize my blog of anything personal so that my life doesn't offend those who disapprove of how I live my disabled life. I wonder at how people with intellectual disabilities and how they manage to survive in systems that would determine how they live and how they love and how they express themselves. I marvel at all the ways that people with limited ways of learning, manage how to figure out how to press their own fingerprints into their own souls. I marvel at the fact that every individual person manages, despite degree of disability to find unique way's to rebellion.

I lay claim to ...

MY OWN VOICE: I once worked for someone who tried to control my voice. Who tried to use force and authority to marshal my words into regimented thought. I once worked for someone who failed in the act of control. It is my voice. My voice represents me. Sometimes my voice resonates with others. Sometimes my voice is alone and apart. My voice does not speak for anyone else. My voice is not that 'of disabled people' 'of gay people' of 'people who eat vegetables'. My voice is simply and uniquely my own. I lay claim to the right to that voice, the opinions it expresses, the words it uses to express them. I lay claim to the right to be outrageous, the right to be conservative, the right to anger and to inspire. I will not give up the 'f' word but I hereby rescind words that damage others. I give up racist, sexist, homophobic and disphobic language. This isn't a limitation that limits, this is a limitation that frees. It frees me from patterns of thought that lead to stereotype and prejudice. It frees me from thinking of people as 'other'. It frees me to be creative in how I use words. My words, said in my voice. This I claim.

I lay claim to ...

MY LEISURE: Though I am disabled 24/8 (there are eight days in the disabled week ... the eighth day is made up from the extra three hours and forty two minutes it takes every day to dress, undress, shower, toilet, shave, put socks on, transfer in and out of chairs. We are meek us disabled folk, we put our extra day into the existing week, don't want to inconvenience you all) I claim time to simply 'be'. Not 'be' disabled. No, just to be Dave. To do Dave stuff. To surf the net. To lay down and read for several hours. To go to the movies. To gossip on the phone. To call someone just to see if I can make them laugh. To waste time. I don't, can't and won't be 'on' all the time.

I lay claim to ...

MY SENSE OF HUMOUR: I think sometimes some stuff is just plain funny. I don't think that disability means that there is a shadow over my life. Some stuff is just funny. Sitting down in a cold wheelchair and having your ass freeze to the frame is funny. Seeing a disabled guy get distracted by a pair of large breasts and drive into a wall, is really funny. I think that Family Guy is funny and that Down Syndrome girl is radically funny. I don't apologize for my humour. I don't care if everyone gets it. My humour has been called, coarse, inappropriate, and self loathing. To that I say .... how do you spell the fart sound that two year olds make and then laugh and laugh and laugh ..

I lay claim to ...

MUCH MORE BUT THIS IS ENOUGH OF A START ...

and you, what do you lay claim to ...