Before writing this post, I need to make something clear. I am happy with my work, my employer, the team I work with, the tasks I have to do, the goals I have set for myself. All that is fine, but ...
Yesterday when writing my blog, I pushed the 'publish post' button and thus scheduled the post for today. When I did so, there was one of those 'ad-sense' ads along side the text. I typically don't notice these things but my attention was grabbed by spotting the word 'disability' in the text. I went to read what was being advertised.
It seems that there were three positions needing filled, two in Toronto and one in Edmonton, for jobs in the disability field. I read the job title and thought, 'Hmmmm, that sounds interesting,' and clicked to look at the job. First things first, before reading the job description, I look at the qualifications. I read through the list. Without being immodest, I ACED that - OK on to the job itself. I was having fun. Really. Fun.
Even though I was self employed for years (and still am) before coming to work for Vita, I always kept abreast of the jobs that were out there and available in the disability field. I wanted to make sure that if I ever wanted to leave the world of lecturing, consultancy and travel, there would be work for me. At least I used to, for maybe the first 5 or 6 years of private practice.
Even when it came to getting my present job, I never looked in the paper, I presented myself with an idea and a mission and managed to somehow magically get hired on. So, it hasn't been for years that I've looked at a job ad, and I'd forgotten how much fun it is to look for work, particularly when I already have work. Because beside looking, I imagine starting over and starting fresh, digging into new tasks and meeting new people, making the job my own.
And when I was doing this yesterday, I realized, wistfully, that I'm past that point. That my career is more behind me than in front of me. That I'll probably never, ever, interview for a job again. That this starting three years ago at Vita, is probably my last starting. And while I'm still excited to go to work and work on some incredibly challenging and exciting projects.
I'm old enough to be past new starts.
The very idea makes me wistful for the days of huge possibility, even while spending days working on things of huge importance.
I think it's nap time.