My neck is a mess. The muscles are all strained and pulled. It hurts to move. But it soon will all be better. We've rented a mini-van because we've had a lot of cargo over the last few days. Today we are headed down to Simcoe where I'll be doing two days of presentations beginning on Monday and have another long drive in the van. But it's ok, because last night, after supper, I finally figured it out.
This new disabled body of mine didn't come with instructions. I constantly have to figure it out, trial and error. For two days it's been error after error. You'd think that a van would be good for me to get into because it's tall. But then, I'm tall. After I get my leg it I have a hell of a time getting my head down low enough to get under the door frame. For the first few times I got Joe to press on the back of my head while I pushed and I'd pop into the car. My spine felt like it wanted to speed dial a chiropracter. Then, I figured I could push my own head down, what a charming sight. I became quite self concious and would only get in the van when there was no one around to watch ... and mock.
But then at dinner last night (The Works in Ottawa - the absolute best burgers on the planet) I went out to the car and in my mind I made myself into a paper doll. I looked at every point of the doll that had a fold, where folding was possible. And ... hmmmmmm ... I got in differently, properly, with no straining to get by the door. Wham, something new is possible.
Learning to live in one's body, learning to live with one's body, is part of the ongoing process of growing and aging. I'm still surprised what mine can do, and just as I'm beginning to think that something is impossible, I learn that it's not.
I think this is why I'm am optimist - the pessimist in me is constantly wrong.