Saturday, February 14, 2009

And Then of Course ...

RAW LANGUAGE IN POST NOT ONCE OR TWICE BUT OFTEN

Naughty Rating #$%@

Post is part of the Valenties, Let's talk about sex blogging day

It was my first real outing in my new power wheelchair. Joe had sent me to pick up some bread and I found a couple of loaves that looked perfect. They needed to be sliced so I lined up at the counter behind a woman, of a certain age, who turned and looked down at me with an expression that told me that she hadn't had a good shit in years. She looked away, then back, then away again. Finally, as the clerk was taking time filling her order, she turned to me and said, "You know what I've always wondered about you people ...?"

Now I immediately knew that by 'you people' she didn't mean 'gay people' or 'bright people' or 'working people' or any possibility other than 'disabled people'. I smiled my nicest smile and said, "And what would that be?" She took the package from the clerk and I handed my loaves over to be sliced. She paused waiting for me to finish then said, "What do you do to fill all the hours in the day?"

I coulda said that I worked. I coulda said that I spent time with friends. I coulda said a lot of things. But I didn't. I said, "All I can say is thank heaven's for televison and food ... and then of course, there's the fucking." Her face fell and I think she may just have had that good shit she'd needed these last many years. She glared at me and said, "How dare you speak to me that way?"

I said, "You asked."

Then she full on glowered, "Well, looking at you, I believe about the television and food ..."

I said, "If you don't believe me about sex, smell my breath."

An unpleasant interchange ended but you should have seen the shiny eyes of the woman who cut my bread.

After having lived with the gay stereotype for the first half of my life, you know the 'gotta fuck em all, one at a time or in a group ...' stereotype, it looks like I'm going to live the next half of my life with the idea that disabled people are as sexual as potted plants. I get tired of having to reassure others, strangers whom I owe nothing to, that I am fully human, that I have hopes, dreams, a job and a sex drive that still has a bit of gas, a stick shift and manual transmission.

Why is it that when people see the wheelchair they can't even imagine someone paying me for work, asking me for my opinion, or using me as a sex toy? Why is it so hard to believe that disabled people can want, can lust, can ply someone with alcohol and flattery? Why is it so hard to believe that I may have a full day of enterprise, of entertainment and of intercouse? How can we have come to believe that there are some who are human, in name only?

So, I don't regret what I said in the store. I know I shook her up. I know she thinks I'm crude. But big deal, enough with worrying about what other people think of me.

It's time they worry about what I THINK of them.

(And by the by, I get terrific service from the ladies in the bakery section. One even winks at me)

21 comments:

Heike said...

Oh man, i wish i had your wits and guts. LOL!

FridaWrites said...

Done! Mine's up.

Wow, that bakery lady. Personally I sit around and watch soap operas and eat bon bons--not!

Sumithra said...

What a disgusting woman she must be! So happy that you were able to give her back what she deserved! You are truly amazing to have the nerve and wits to say the right thing in the right way...

goddess-amy said...

Go Dave!

Heather said...

Oh I so wish I'd been there.

Brilliant idea for Valentines and I read all the blogs that were up.

I'm getting a 'Go Dave' t-shirt to wear on days like these (well maybe).

xx

Penelope said...

That's a great answer!

I used to have a button that said "Wheelchair? Sex Toy? What's the Difference?" I don't know what's happened to it and I keep meaning to order a new one. (My standard answer to anyone who uses "wheelchair bound" about me in my hearing is "Unfortunately no, I haven't gotten my partner to get out the rope yet" which I think is why I was given that specific button)

Leslie said...

hee! beautiful! I'm so impressed with your ability to come up with the properly snarky response at the time and not half an hour later.

Teresa said...

LOL!!! I can well imagine the expression on that lady's face..

karyv said...

OMG! That was too great.

Carrie said...

I wonder if that lady will think twice before she asks rude questions in the future! LOL!!! Good for you!!

Anonymous said...

love the "wheelchair bound" comment, think I will keep that one the next time I hear someone say it.

Ellen : ) said...

LOL LOL LOL LOL
You go Dave!
I'm always afraid someone is going to smack me hard if I utlize my wit and irreverance in the moment....good to know I might sometimes be able to get away with it!
Happy Valentine's day to you and Joe both. Hope you had fun together!

E : )

Cynthia F. said...

LOVED this. Happy Valentine's Day to you and Joe.

By the way, not sure where we're supposed to report in for the campaign to educate public figures not to use the R-word, but Jon Stewart used it on The Daily Show on February 12th during his interview with John Sununu. I think the context was referring to the U.S. Congress as "fucking retarded." I suggest asking why he couldn't he have just used "douchebags" or something instead like he usually does.

Sharon said...

Fantastic stuff Dave. I'd have paid good money to witness that encounter. Perhaps she won't be so quick to make assumptions next time, even if it's just the assumption that it's fine to ask rudely personal questions about the quality of a stranger's life.

The Woolworth Cup said...

LoL!
Great reply!! Some people are so rude, and then they're shocked, when they get a rude answer...

qw88nb88 said...

"as sexual as potted plants"

Wow Dave, as a horticulturalist I must say that plants can be pretty dang naughty ... flowers are all about SEX and DEATH!

andrea

Betsy said...

Dave,

I blogged about my daughter Paige, who is in a wheelchair (she also has T21) - who totally got checked out at the mall yesterday by another lad in a wheelchair too.

Thought you might enjoy the cute story of boy meets girl - on wheels!

http://bits-of-betsy.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!!!!
Too funny, i only wish i had the guts to do the same!!!

Ssejors said...

Brilliant!

I am finding that as I get older, my fear of truly offending or upsetting people is dissipating. I no longer care to hold my tongue. What's the use. The world will go on and I will feel much better knowing I said what I wanted to at the time. I applaud you for such Whit! Well done Dave!

Nice to meet another fellow canadian blogger too!

Cheers from Hunter and Ssej in Calgary!

imfunny2 said...

Dave dave dave :)

How to *make my year* without even trying....

As a widow....who kinda went a little sex-crazed during her time of grief.... who has been either on cruchtes or used a wheelchair her entire life....

I have to love this post all day.

Melissa said...

Hahahahaha. Priceless.