What I did and What I shouldn't do again.

 A young woman, someone close, someone I respect, posted on Facebook her reaction to the loss of Justice Ginsburg. In it, she stated that with the loss of one woman, one vote, women could lose ground in the constant battle against institutionalized sexism. How close to the precipice we are.

Then me.

I read it and wrote a lengthy response talking about Ginsburg's loss and what it means to the gay community. Marriage equality passed by one vote. I expressed this in what you might call a fulsome way.

Here's what I thought I was doing:

Adding to the conversation.

Here's what I actually did:

Derail the conversation.

When she wrote her post, she wrote from the point of view of a woman and her reaction to a situation she saw as dangerous. The fact that she didn't mention all the ways that Ginsburg will be missed doesn't mean that she's unaware of those things and needs someone (me) to remind her. People are allowed to talk about their personal feelings and reactions from their lived experience and the point of view that grows from that experience. They are allowed to talk about that and have it validated. They don't need someone saying 'me too, me too, me too,' all the way through their conversation. But that's what I did.

I think that's part of the reaction to Black Lives Matter - people are inept at listening to one point of view without having other people drown them out with ego and self-centeredness. Sometimes, even if we have experiences that we feel parallels the discussion, we need to stop playing oppression football. Shutting up, listening to another, and processing what's been heard is becoming harder and harder in a world that has i-phones and i-consciousness - if it's not about me, I'm out.

So that's my long way of saying sorry Shannon, I should have just listened and validated.

I will do better.