Wednesday, July 04, 2018


We forgot the yogurt for the cucumber soup we were going to make.

I remembered halfway through the unloading of the cart. I sent Joe off to get it and said that I would continue unloading the cart.

These particular carts are a little hard for me because they are quite wide and the reach necessary, when I seated by the cart in my chair, is a bit long. I have to really stretch to get everything, but we'd just come from the gym so I was feeling pretty limber.

I was reaching for the last bits, a bag of cherries, a bag of grapes and a bag of plums. I had just plopped the plums down on the counter and was reaching to the way back corner, it's a tough reach, and when I was almost there, someone glided by my cart picked up the cherries and reached over and pout them on the belt for me.

She was startled when I said, "Why do you need to do that?"

"What she asked surprised?"

"Thieve from me."


"Why are you taking my independence away from me? Why do you need it? Why do I have to be helpless? I need to do things on my own. I need my own sense of my independence and you took that from me? Why? Why do you want me or need me to be helpless?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I'm sure you don't."

And it was over. I could have tossed the cherries back and then done them again, but I didn't. You can't claim back a moment that was stolen by another.

Thieves they are.



Flemisa said...

Think you may need a bit more "me time".
I have followed your posts for years but this time I do have to disagree.
I understand the need to do things yourself. I am very stubborn and adamant about doing things even when it would be much easier to have someone else do them. And to ask someone to do something is still very, very difficult.
But these days I also appreciate -- and hope I extend -- the small gifts of recognition and help that make life easier and may, just maybe, would connect two people for an instance.
Graciously accept gifts of thoughtfulness and save your strength for the real fights like access to the store. A simple thank you may have been the nicest thing she has heard all day and it was your gift to give.

Ranvaig said...

I am sorry but you are wrong, Sandra. Helpful would have asked "Would you like help with that?". Assuming that someone is helpless is wrong, impolite, and takes away ones independence.

Girl on wheels said...

Sandra, you are wrong. It is never ok to help someone without asking if they need that help. You have no idea what their situation is. You don’t know that your “help” isn’t going to physically hurt them. You don’t know that they haven’t been working on doing that specific task for months, and that you just robbed them of the reward for all that work. Even if you are a psychic and that person is telepathically telling you they need help, you ask them before acting.
Also please kindly fuck off with your condescending shit about Dave owing that rude woman the gift of a thank you. He didn’t need her “thoughtfulness”, he was quite clear that her help was unwanted and he is entitled to feeling pissed off about being treated like he was helpless.

Anonymous said...

asking is always, always the best thing.