Monday, October 16, 2017

Zipped Lip

Some of the things I haven't said on my travels this year:

To the woman working for housekeeping at a hotel:

Stepping back into the room, to give me space, when I'm pushing by the cart in the hallways isn't helping.

To the guy who looked terrified at the gate when I pulled up:

I don't want to sit by you either buddy.

To the woman working at the doughnut shop in the airport:

Yeah, really, a fat guy just ordered a tea. It's what I want not a miraculous act of restraint.

To the airport wheelchair assistance person:

Really, I know what I can and can't do, if I say I can push myself, I can. I know my body better than you do.

To the hotel valet parking guy:

I don't care that I pissed you off when I asked you to leave while I got out of the car. If you want a show, buy a freaking ticket.

To the woman who asked my about my diagnosis:

It's rude and none of your business. No I don't care if you really want to know.

To the man whose teenager made a pig face at me that you didn't correct:

Great parenting shows itself, you've raised a mean child, you may not get it now, but you will.

To the mom balancing two kids in either arm:

It doesn't lessen you for me to let you go first, I'm in a chair, you could drop precious cargo.

To the clerk who kept trying to get me to wave back as I rolled by:

We don't know each other, okay? You aren't Jerry Lewis and I'm not your kid.

To the people who just walked on and went about their day whilst in the presence of disability:

Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.


Andrea Shettle, MSW said...

Re, the woman who "really wanted to know" your diagnosis:

It is so annoying, isn't it, when people who want to invade your privacy seem to think that their curiosity is somehow an excuse for being rude?

I can understand the burning desire of curiosity. I had a lot of it as a child. But I did eventually learn that other people's right to privacy always overrides curiosity--mine or anyone else's. As I got older, I eventually became the target of other people's unwanted curiosity, albeit usually not disability related. But enough to become annoyed at people who just won't stop asking questions even after I make it clear that I'm just not inclined to answer. Why do some people take so many decades longer to learn, if ever they do at all, that curiosity does not equate to an entitlement to know?

Shannon said...

I try to zip my lip (most of the time) or just say no thanks most of the time, as I really don't want to offend people. Of course there are certain situations... the other week I was at a relative's home for kind of a memorial/celebration of life gathering. There were many people I did not know. I encountered the most determined to help no matter what I said person I had encountered in a long time. I went to a bathroom which was in a back bedroom, not really an accessible bathroom, but door wide enough to get in but not close. I was getting ready to get on the toilet when this stranger followed me and said do you need any help. I said no, I'm just going to use the bathroom and she said I know do you need any help. I said no thanks. A few minutes later she was back asking if I needed any help. I had to leave the house and go catch a bus and she said how are you going to get there, don't you need any help, just as a companion. I said I don't need a companion and she seemed really miffed. I did need some guys to lift my chair down the steps of the house. This lady was still there and finally I let her come to the bus stop with me, got tired of saying no. I gave her a talk on how not everyone in a wheelchair needs help.

ABEhrhardt said...

It's not as if any of the things they are marveling over happened overnight, and you're still adjusting!

You're no more remarkable, in principle, than any other human. See, that wasn't so hard!

Once - and if they're ever so lucky - they actually know you, then they'll know you're remarkable. For entirely different things than they're thinking now.

Rickismom said...

First, I know that these irk- and so great for you for not commenting.