Friday, October 23, 2015


Photo Description: A portrait of Joe Jobes.
What do you say when everything has already been said about someone else to someone else? What do you say when words, meant deeply, sound trite? What do you say when you want to say what Hallmark says but in a way that they haven't - and can't?

I am lost for words.

Today is Joe's birthday.

He turns 63 today. For a couple of months he is older than me. He the old man, me the arm candy. He who dotters and me who wipes dribble. I pamper the Pampered. Yep, it's a fine couple of months. Speaking a bit louder. Engaging more patience. We play on every stereotype that we see in ourselves in our transition from boys to 'men of a certain age.'

People who meet him know he is a kind man, with a ready laugh, and a genuine interest in elevating the mood and the feel of an interaction.

People who see us together can see that his care of me is both gentle and respectful and still, after 8 years of disability, loving. I add that in about disability because the change for me from walking to rolling was enormous. The change for him was equally so. Everything changed all at once.

I am lucky.

We are lucky.

We met at 16 and I was there for his 17th birthday party. A much different affair than we've planned for tonight. We've just got home from a long trip and about to leave on another. We're going to stay home and fall asleep by 7, maybe 7:30. Dinner? We haven't decided. It doesn't matter. It will get figured.

We're going out with the kids and family on Sunday for lunch up the CN tower.

But, I'm writing this because I need to be writing something. I want to write something about the man that Joe is ... the man I watched him become.

He is stronger than people think he is.

He is smarter than he ever lets on.

He is deeper than his laugh would let you believe.

He is just simply a fine and decent person.

Oh. Let me say that again.

A find and decent person who is way, WAY, older than me.


Cindy O said...

Happy birthday Joe!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Joe!

Anonymous said...

What a blessing to read your tribute to a wonderful man!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Joe.

Shan said...

Happy Birthday to my dear Uncle Joe! Much love to you, and my fond wishes for a wonderful day, and a wonderful year.

clairesmum said...

Happy Birthday, Joe, and wishes for a wonder-full year to come!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Joe! Remember that Birthdays should be celebrated for a full month. May the happiness continue on for both of you for many years.

Linda Panas said...

Happy Birthday Joe! Dave has a great sense of humour, but remember your only as old as you feel. enjoy your day.

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday Joe!!

Colleen said...

Happy birthday, Joe!

Anonymous said...

Joe sat behind me the first time I went to one of your presentations. We got to talking, the way friendly people do, and the impression left was of a wonderful man who was deeply in love with another wonderful man. I remember walking away from that day, vowing to set my intention each day of being the best support I could be to the people I support and of wanting to someday meet a man who would love me the way Joe loves you. That has yet to occur, but I take pleasure in knowing that it is possible!

Happy Birthday, Joe. Thank you for being you!

ABEhrhardt said...

Awww - Happy Birthday, Joe. Wish I knew you in person, but in person I might not get to know you as well as through Dave's words.

Many happy years more.


Kris S. said...

Lovely, Dave. Happy Birthday, Joe!!

Rachel in Idaho said...

Beautiful post. Happiest of birthdays, Joe!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Joe!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Joe!


Anonymous said...

What a beautiful picture of Joe. You are both blessed. Happy Birthday!