Sometimes it's just bizarre.
Really. Really. Bizarre.
There are five people in this little story. Four of us want to use the elevator, there's only one, the others are down. The fifth person in my tale is the security guard. The guard is wearing one of those uniforms that when you first glance at him makes him look like a police officer.
It starts when the elevator arrives and the door opens. After the passengers depart the security office bounds over and puts his arm out to ensure the door does not close. He then indicates that I am to get on. I need to get on last. I tell him this. There is enough room for everyone, but I have to get on last. If I get on first no one will be able to get by me into the elevator.
He doesn't hear me, or won't hear me, he keeps indicating, with a big smile to show he's being nice, for me to get on. I look to the others waiting and ask them to please get on, I tell them I'll get on last, that way everyone will fit. They all, seemingly intimidated by the security guards insistence that I get on, tell me to go ahead and get on.
He's standing there grinning and waving for me to get on.
Everyone else is standing there waiting to get on.
There is only one elevator, it's being held up, others are waiting on other floors. We just need to get the fuck on to the elevator.
I've had it.
I KNOW HOW TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR, I KNOW HOW TO GET ON TO AN ELEVATOR. NOW PLEASE GET ON SO I CAN GET ON AND WE CAN GET ON OUR WAY.
Everyone looks at me as if I've suddenly arrived from Mars, as if I'm incredibly rude. I don't feel rude, I feel assertive.
I look at one person, just one person, a pleasant faced woman who is one of the four. I say directly to her, quietly, 'please get on.' She nods. She moves forward past the protesting security guard who still wants me to get on first. The others follow her. They move to the right leaving the space I need to get on to the elevator. We all fit perfectly.
The guard, still standing there scowls at me when I get on.
I don't care.
I know how to be in a wheelchair.
I'm the expert.
Listen to me.