Yoda I Am Not

Some times I have too many feelings. Too many emotions churning around inside. I get confused, trying to pick out how to feel when so many possibilities exist. At times like these I hope no one notices. Such was my meeting yesterday.

The elevator at work was still down and as a result I was still working at home. I was enjoying being at home and working on my home computer. I was missing being in on the 'fresh back at work' feeling that the New Year brings. Conflicting, confusing emotions. But, that's not the tale I wish to tell. I'd arranged a meeting with two young women, both eager and fresh faced, who came downtown to meet with me at my favourite tea shoppe. We had much to do.

I need to back up. I am getting older. I realize, very much, the need to ensure that skills that took me a lifetime to develop - trial and error, chance and circumstance being wonderful teachers but ones who dally about in getting to the curriculum - are transferred and made usable by others. At Vita, given the changes in legislation I wrote about a few days ago, we have been getting regular requests for training trainers in abuse prevention. This groundswell of interest shows that the purpose of the new legislation is already bearing fruit.

Vita's trainers have been doing abuse prevention training for several years and they have had the experience of training others. This though, will be a little different, they are confident but we needed to ensure that we were all on the same page, all teaching the same things, all had a consistent message. Mostly, we wanted to ensure that we all represented our home agency well. So we got our tea, they raspberry scented green tea, me Japanese Sencha, and set about our work.

They had prepared a written document outlining the flow of the class, and we went through it line by line adding in, making changes. I found that they'd come up with stuff that I could see immediately would work well, better than what I do ... I had some comments to shore up what they were doing. This was a curriculum that I developed a long while ago and seeing it here, in their hand and in their hands, was odd. I wanted them to feel ownership of it but I didn't really want to relinquish it either. I could see that they were completely in mastery of the material and that we were now truly, simply, partners.

One works as a trainer to ensure that others have skills. I get that. One works to ensure that mentorship works, that the student becomes a master and then Master becomes mentor. I was seeing that happen. I was seeing myself left behind as my work moved forward. It felt - pick one of a hundred different emotions, not all positive, certainly not all negative. I grew in my respect for them as individuals and as a team. I had already seen them train others and know that they will continue to do well, even brilliantly. But now I was seeing them differently. I wondered, oddly, if Yoda ever looked at Obi Wan Kenobi and thought - damn kid! I'm thinking he did.

Joe arrived just as we were finishing our meeting, several cups of tea later. We chatted briefly and then they were off to where they were going and I was off to the bathroom.

Age. Who's idea was that?

(Once again, at risk of those who feel I promote my home agency here on this blog too much, I want to give contact details for training. I've received multiple emails requesting training information ... so this is IN RESPONSE to requests: training is booked through Domenic Pisante at Vita 416-749-6234 or dpisante@vitacls.org - that's for any of the training regarding abuse prevention, self esteem, anger management, relationship training, or rights. Training materials developed for many of these issues is available through www.diverse-city.com . Finally, the Tai Chi DVD I use is from the Chair Aerobics for Everyone Series, I also use their Wheelchair Workout DVD ... both suit me perfectly. I've gotten so many requests for all these resources, so here they are!)