Monday, January 03, 2011

3 Silly Pounds More

One of the gifts I got for Christmas was a pair of dumbbells. They are three pounds heavier than the set I've been using regularly. I've not been doing my exercises over the holidays, believing (wrongly I know) that the holidays not for lifting anything heavier than apple pie on the end of a fork. So today I decided that, though tomorrow I go back to the regular routine of exercise, I'd try out the new weights.

I went into my favourites, which is where I keep you tube links for exercises that though I use often I'd not call by any stretch of imagination, 'my favourites'. I found there a 5 minute shoulder and arm work out. I got the new weights out, positioned the wheelchair, locked the wheels, hit play and then grabbed the weight. My instructor, a woman with an annoying voice, spends a minute just telling me for the bajillionth time that I can just use cans or a book instead of weights. I can go quickly through this part but I like watching it for two reasons ... first it delays the start of the exercise and second I exercise better when slightly annoyed. Annoyance sets fire to testosterone and thus strength increases - at least that's how it works in my mind please don't anyone in the comment section befuddle me with facts.

Once she was finished with extolling the use of soup cans instead of weights, we were off with exercise one. Bicep curls both arms at a time, to ten. Exercise two. Bicep curls one arm at a time, to ten. Exercise three. Hammer curls, to ten. Exercise four. Overhead extension, to ten. Exercise five. Military lifts, to ten.

Now, I've been doing these easily for weeks. It's only been a couple of days, well actually a week, without doing them at all, perhaps more like 10 days, maybe more accurately a little while, since I've done them. I figured three more pounds wouldn't make a difference.

Here's what I thought.

Exercise one.

Sheee ... it these are really heavy.

Exercise two.

Why does that authoritarian headmistress of a woman think that ten is such a freaking terrific number, what's wrong with eight?

Exercise Three.

I should drop down to the lower weights, no, no, I can do this, why am I doing this, somehow this is so ... ouch that hurts ... wrong.

Exercise Four.

This is a lot of weight to be lifting over my head, if I drop can we sue You Tube, can Joe get posh funeral ... will a good undertaker be able to do anything with the dent across the top of my skull.

Exercise Five.

Why am I doing a military press, I'm against war.

Then it was over and I thought. Hmmmm, cake lifting really doesn't prepare one for lifting weights, sigh.


Kristin said...

Thanks for the giggle Dave.

Brenda said...

Your pain is our gain - I nearly spit out my morning ginger ale!

Colleen said...

Great way to start the day Dave!

Anonymous said...

Oh no - is it really true that lifting the cake fork doesn't count as weight training?! When did that happen?!! I always thought that if it was a carrot cake, or fruit cake - that it also counted as one of the 5 portions of fruit/ veg that one is supposed to eat!!

Good luck Dave with lifting the real weights (sigh!)... lifting the fork is so much more pleasant!!

Laurel said...

Ha, Dave, I had a lot of fun reading this one. I too have let my (already dubious) physical fitness slide and will be restarting today... thanks to your post I will remember to keep a humorous perspective rather than a whiny or grumpy one. Thank you!

Belinda said...

Oh, I roared with laughter at your inner dialogue. That was very funny. I almost feel inspired to get out my own weights!

rickismom said...

After a break of a few weeks (busy),I also restarted weight strengthening exercises yesterday. Felt good to be moving. But didn't try to ADD any weight over what I added last month....
I wish you luck with the exercise; I know I feel so much better whaen I exercise regularly. Its called (ultimately) being kind to yourself. But if it hurts, you're overdoing it....