This morning I sat groggily watching morning television. It’s a way to kill time while waiting to go down to catch the bus for work. A perky announcer, chirpy can be annoying at the best of times but morning chirpy-ness should be a capital offense, was talking to a guest ‘expert’ (a term used far too freely these days) who was talking about ‘lack of time syndrome’. My hackles went up. They do this easily in the morning.
It’s taken a while to seep in, this desire for ‘normal’ people to have ‘faux syndromes’ that make them ‘special’ like us but without all the encumbrances of ‘real’ disabilities. A couple days ago I heard about ‘cluttered house syndrome’ and ‘organizationally disabled’ … oh, how freaking cute are those. How about ‘noisy kids syndrome’ and ‘to much to do syndrome’ … I kid you not. I’ve heard both these terms used recently. Right. Uh, huh, let’s form a support group for the non-disabled disabled by non-existent syndromes. And maybe we could have a fundraiser to bring relief to those afflicted by busy lives, loud progeny and cluttered houses. (I can get my father’s barn!)
What’s equally irksome is that these ‘experts’ that create ‘faux syndromes’ always have solutions to those who are ‘crippled by a too full life’. Talk about a snake oil sales pitch! The solution is always available in book form – yep, books are better than medication, the only side effect is mind numbing boredom and delusions of a life under control. These books let you know that in essence you just have to ‘want’ to get better and ‘want’ to get control and ‘want’ to declutter.
Just like they believe that we should just ‘want’ to leap up out of wheelchairs and run a marathon – it must be possible, I keep hearing inspirational stories about disabled people climbing freaking Mount Everest or some other god forsaken mountain. Just like they believe that our frame of mind cures cancer and our outlook on life determines the length of our lives.
Who are these people?!?!?!
I mean I never see them in waiting rooms.
I never see them on WheelTrans with me in the mornings.
I sure don’t see them hanging outside of stores trying to figure an accessible way in.
I never see them protesting, unless complaining counts.