I'm a little nervous to take my blood sugar this morning. Yesterday we spent an entire day in a car getting to New Haven. It was a longer drive than I remembered and parts of the drive, like Interstate 90 along the tope of New York State, are mind numbingly boring drives. But we had a destination, a goal, so we drove with a fierce determination. Ted, our GPS, was attached to the front window and kept us informed. We got on the Interstate early in the morning and Ted says in his little Tedric voice, "Drive for 248 miles". How's that for a kick in the teeth, especially since that's to the first TURN.
We stopped at a drive through for breakfast and didn't stop again until we got to the hotel. We were a tad early so they sent us away. Ted found us a mall a few miles south. We were both hungry for a late lunch at this point and we found a Johnny Rocket's cafe in the mall. It's an old style burger parlor. Their veggie options were amazing. We each ordered a burger smothered in fried onion and a couple of cheeses, a side of fries, and a milk shake. This is not food the diabetics should eat. I know that. I know that. I know that. If I was out with a person with a disabilities who had diabetes I would have spoken up. Joe couldn't say anything because he was off in the washroom and left me to place the order.
I haven't had a milkshake since I was diagnosed with diabetes. Oh bless God for the first drop as it touched my tounge. I haven't had a meal like this in years. Thank you God for making food that could taste like this. Oh, I slip on the diet every now and then, but this isn't slipping, this is leaping off the wagon with decision and forethought. I pictured my nutritionist, who thinks I have the IQ of a bed bug, explaining to me that if I put margerine on toast, that' one layer, if I put peanut butter that's two layers. She then sat back and me and let the enormity of her teaching settle in. I took a sip of the milkshake and thought, 'this one's for you'.
I knew what I did was wrong, I knew that I shouldn't do it, I knew that once I did it I'd regret it, but I did it anyways. I'm proud of the way that I've limited sugar from my life, how I've become much more thoughtful about what I put into my system, about how my blood sugar is almost always well withing the 'normal' range when I test it.
But it's nice to break a rule every now and then.
Joe acted perfectly. He came back and saw the meal I'd ordered. Saw the shake at his place on the table and asked, "Oh, my, God, is that strawberry?" I nodded.
What a great meal.
But that evening I was careful with supper and being really frugal with breakfast this morning. It's nice to have the freedom to slip, and be trusted to have the will to return to 'the way'.
I just now tested my blood this morning. Not bad. Not great, but not bad.
Everyone needs a break now and then.
I took mine yesterday.