Thursday, April 10, 2008

Shake It All Up

I'm a little nervous to take my blood sugar this morning. Yesterday we spent an entire day in a car getting to New Haven. It was a longer drive than I remembered and parts of the drive, like Interstate 90 along the tope of New York State, are mind numbingly boring drives. But we had a destination, a goal, so we drove with a fierce determination. Ted, our GPS, was attached to the front window and kept us informed. We got on the Interstate early in the morning and Ted says in his little Tedric voice, "Drive for 248 miles". How's that for a kick in the teeth, especially since that's to the first TURN.

We stopped at a drive through for breakfast and didn't stop again until we got to the hotel. We were a tad early so they sent us away. Ted found us a mall a few miles south. We were both hungry for a late lunch at this point and we found a Johnny Rocket's cafe in the mall. It's an old style burger parlor. Their veggie options were amazing. We each ordered a burger smothered in fried onion and a couple of cheeses, a side of fries, and a milk shake. This is not food the diabetics should eat. I know that. I know that. I know that. If I was out with a person with a disabilities who had diabetes I would have spoken up. Joe couldn't say anything because he was off in the washroom and left me to place the order.

I haven't had a milkshake since I was diagnosed with diabetes. Oh bless God for the first drop as it touched my tounge. I haven't had a meal like this in years. Thank you God for making food that could taste like this. Oh, I slip on the diet every now and then, but this isn't slipping, this is leaping off the wagon with decision and forethought. I pictured my nutritionist, who thinks I have the IQ of a bed bug, explaining to me that if I put margerine on toast, that' one layer, if I put peanut butter that's two layers. She then sat back and me and let the enormity of her teaching settle in. I took a sip of the milkshake and thought, 'this one's for you'.

I knew what I did was wrong, I knew that I shouldn't do it, I knew that once I did it I'd regret it, but I did it anyways. I'm proud of the way that I've limited sugar from my life, how I've become much more thoughtful about what I put into my system, about how my blood sugar is almost always well withing the 'normal' range when I test it.

But it's nice to break a rule every now and then.

Joe acted perfectly. He came back and saw the meal I'd ordered. Saw the shake at his place on the table and asked, "Oh, my, God, is that strawberry?" I nodded.

What a great meal.

But that evening I was careful with supper and being really frugal with breakfast this morning. It's nice to have the freedom to slip, and be trusted to have the will to return to 'the way'.

I just now tested my blood this morning. Not bad. Not great, but not bad.

Everyone needs a break now and then.

I took mine yesterday.


wendy said...

Being "perfect" is highly over rated! It's good for the soul to occassionally do the things were not "supposed" to. And if you're going to leap gleefully off the wagon now and again you might as well have a shake with it!

Shan said...

Oh, strawberry shakes, now I'm weeping with.....what is it, lust? greed? envy?

Speaking of deadly sins, it's nice to commit one once in a while. I think I'll stop by DQ one of these days.

theknapper said...

Ahhh to be a perfectly imperfect human being. The best kind.

Unknown said...

Enjoying some chocolate or for instance French fries occasionaly seems to take away some stress, which might be beneficial to the body...

Anonymous said...

Sorry to be off-topic, but was wondering if by any chance you had seen this? On a freedom of speech issue; it's making the rounds in email also:

Susan said...

Dear Belinda, (I know you'll end up here eventually.) Earlier today, when you asked me what food it was I really, really wanted right now, what did I say?

And I hadn't even read Dave's blog yet! Too bad I said chocolate instead of strawberry or we would have batted a thousand. And no, despite your advice to the contrary, I did NOT stop for one on the way home.

(Hi, to you too, Dave!)

Belinda said...

Well, God did give us tongues covered in taste buds.

Good for you for resisting my wicked counsel Susan!

And we'll have to stop meeting like this. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Dave, welcome to New Haven from a New Haven resident! We're honored to have you. I hope you have time to see the town while you're here.
-Robin K.

All 4 My Gals said...

hee hee hee. My kind of guy, but I knew that already. :) I can't seem to lose weight, even though I consider myself healthy as I work out a lot. But dang the taste of chocolate gets me every time. I'm glad you enjoyed your meal!

Kat Fox said...

It struck me when you said that if you were with a person with a disability who had diabetes you would have spoken up about their food choices...reminded them of their food to speak. I work for a CL agency and I often think a lot of us "staff" have become food natzis or food police...putting way too much emphasis on the food that people can and cannot eat...did it ever occur to people that maybe,just maybe... the people we support should be trusted to have both the freedom to slip AND then to find their way again...just like you or I!