Today we are going to check out a new church, thinking maybe to go there on Sunday. I heard from someone that it's fully accessible and that they welcome, ahem, diversity. So we're going to take a look just to see if the wheelchair can get into the building, if so we are going to go to service on Sunday.
While I have a comfortable relationship with God and my faith (although I keep getting taught life lessons, like I'm in God's remedial class). I have a less comfortable relationship with God's 'friends' here on earth. A third want to heal me (if you believed you wouldn't need a wheelchair), a third think that my relationship disqualifies me from receiving the love of God (um, like, OK, God didn't make Adam and Steve, right? You unnastand what I'm saying?), so I'm always looking for the other third - the third that is open to the idea that God could, on day when he's eaten chocolate, love even me.
It always bugged me that I lost 'neighbour' status when people learned that I was gay or when they saw me in the wheelchair. Like when Jesus said, "Love thy neighbour' - most people picture neighbourhoods where wheelchair ramps into homes have been forbidden by bylaw and there are certainly no well decorated townhouses with cute little topiary fawns. But bug me or not, it's not up to me to judge their judgement of me (although I do, I admit it I do).
I miss having a church home, a place to belong and to express my faith. Whatever others think of it, it's a big deal to me. I find solance in prayer. I find comfort in the companionship of God. I find example in the courageous, compassionate life of Christ. And I like to express that faith in community with others.
So we'll check it out this morning and see what the place looks like. Then if that works, we'll go tomorrow and see what it feels like. I don't have the 'drop in and visit God' approach to church because he constantly seems to drop in on me. It's just that I like to hear a sermon, sing a hymn and experience the sense of community.
But we'll see, in a few hours, if that visit is possible. If not nothing much will change. But it would be nice, this Easter, to celebrate the life we've been given, the road we've been set upon, and the journey yet to come. On Monday we sit down and meet with the people wanting to buy the house and we hear their offer. Then we need to make several huge life decisions. It would be nice to be prayerfully ready for that conversation. And, I guess, we will be - church or not - luckily, no matter what others have told me, God doesn't call screen.