Yesterday wasn't the easiest day. In fact, it was pretty tough. I'm not going to say much more than that because, while it might be a surprise, I practice what I preach: boundaries. So, enough said on that.
In the midst of the 'troubles' yesterday, I was rushing from one place to another. I was wrapped in worry and pursued by anxiety. I had been given a quest, and I was rushing to get it done so I could get back. I did my best to ensure that my upset didn't affect my mobility. I didn't want to run into someone because I was paying more attention to 'inside me' than 'outside me.' So, I was being careful.
Because I lecture and because I've produced training films myself as well as for others, I am sometimes recognized. Mostly this is a nice experience, getting to chat for a moment with someone who has seen me on video or read one of my books is great.
When I heard my name called out, I immediately panicked. I was so into my anxiety and worry that I thought, at first and quite irrationally, that someone was chasing me to give me bad news. Silly, I know, but our minds do what our minds do. So when the person introduced themselves and then started to talk to me about one of my books and having seen me lecture, I couldn't follow.
I told the person that I was having a bit of a life crisis, that I was in a hurry, and that I appreciate the sentiments expressed but I didn't have time to talk.
"That's not very friendly, brushing me off like that."
I was so stunned at the response that I simply turned my chair and headed off. A threat followed, "I'm going to tell people that I met you and you weren't very friendly."
What concerns me about this is that if this person has read me or seen me, they work in human services. An honest explanation of 'crisis' and 'hurry' was met with - well, nothing really - because it simply didn't matter what my needs were.
You may hear I'm unfriendly.
But I'm not.
Sometimes I'm just someone caught up in that messy thing: life.