Sunday, September 21, 2014

Back

Gosh, it's been an unusually long time since I've written a blog. I apologize for the unannounced break. We are all fine here.

I thought, or believed, or bought into the stereotype that when you get older things slow down and you have more time to enjoy life.

Um.

No.

I had an extraordinarily long week. Working 10 or 11 hour days ... dealing with unmovable deadlines ... being asked to make big decisions on big issues ... getting on the bus at 5:45 am ... takes it's toll. Now I love what I do, but, and it's a big but, there are times that there's too much of what I do to do.

It may sound like I'm complaining. I'm not. I'm explaining. I simply couldn't fit the act of blogging in with all that AND having some kind of home life at the same time.

In reality, when I get overwhelmed like this, a part of me is grateful.

When I first became disabled, when the wheelchair was first wheeled into my hospital room, I had to actively fight off the worry that I'd never be as fully involved in my life and work again. I knew it wasn't true! I knew people with disabilities who's lives were full. In fact, when I thought about it, every person with a disability I knew had a life that fitted them well. Even so, the larger societal stereotype of 'disability' as 'disaster' and as 'disenfranchised' filled my head. I fought depression by pushing away fear with certainty. I KNEW different and, even so, it was a battle.

I never imagined, though, that what was coming was coming.

Instead, I have found that my disability has now informed my work and informed the decisions I make about what I prioritize.

And.

That has made me very busy.

Good busy.

But busy.

So, again, I apologize for being away, especially after the last post.

We are well.

Our lives are full.

And we go on because, of course, doing damns the darkness!

7 comments:

Colleen said...

Dear Dave:

I'm glad you are back and that you and Joe are both okay.

Also glad you took a break when you needed it.

Enjoy your Sunday!
Colleen

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! I missed you!

Tamara said...

You've been a dedicated blogger for so long - and while I certainly miss fresh insights in what's rolling around in your head when I don't get my daily fix, I think it's great that you take a break here and there, now and then ...

Anonymous said...

I missed your writings! But I'm very glad you're well and happy and back here. :) samm

Anonymous said...

Happy to see you back at the blog. I always miss you when you're "gone" from here but happy you know how to prioritize and make time for a personal life.

Bernie

Maggie said...

Glad you're back!

... and even gladder that you had the good sense to prioritize, and the freedom and internal generosity to let yourself let go of daily posting on this blog when it didn't fit your life.

Now starting a second Chaplaincy internship, I've been given a new version of the Serenity prayer that I like very much:

(Beloved, Infinite Source, God, or fill in the blank), grant me the serenity to prioritize the many demands on my time and energy; the courage to say no to people I care about; and the wisdom to know when it's time to go home.

I'm so glad you know when it's time to go home to have a home-life.


Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Dave!

If you knew how many hundreds of times I've said that phrase in my head to make myself move and be and do when I just wanted to curl up in a ball...

Doing damns the darkness.

I love it every bit as much as Ruby's Song. :)