I don't know what I'm taking from them. I'm not sure why a simple, polite, "No, I'm good, thanks any ways," becomes a slap in the face or a humiliating rejection. I want to yell, and I'm going to be graphic here, "It's just a fucking door!"
One of my first big accomplishments as a wheelchair user was to be able to exit my apartment building on my own. There were two differing barriers to be overcome. First is the lobby door. It is a single door that is locked at all times. From the lobby it opens with a push on a lever, I have to do that while pushing the chair forward to get the door slightly open, once done it's a big push to get it to swing open and then another to get over the bump on the floor created by the frame. This is easy for me now. More difficult is the double doors that are the entry and the exit from the building. For this I have to position my chair such that each footrest faces a different door, then, another big push. I cannot go through that door with only one door held open. The balance isn't right, I just can't do it. In this case, help hurts.
So, this guy, a nice guy, holds one of the doors this morning. I'm just through the first door, I'm holding it for him. I say, "No, I'm good, thanks anyways ... I'll hold this one for you." He says he's not in a hurry. I actually am in a hurry, I want to be out by the time Joe comes round with the car. I say again, "No, really, thanks."
Now I get the hurt look.
And a refusal to move.
He stands holding the door.
I explain, I tell him that I can't get out the door with only one getting held, that I can do it on my own but I need both doors to be closed. He begins to reach to hold the other door. I tell him that if he does that I'll have to go out under his arm pit and I really don't want to do that. He smiles at my little joke but continues.
Finally I simply tell him that I appreciate it but if he really wants to help he'll just let go of the door. Joe has now pulled up and I want to get out. He lets go of the door reluctantly. Then he says, "Can I watch how you do it?"
I don't like being watched doing things like this. My day is just starting and this is wearing me out. I shrug my shoulders and push out the door easily.
He's all excited, "Wow, man, that's awesome!"
This is how a fat man in a wheelchair makes porn, inspirational that is.