Childish post with childish humour, but I can't help myself.
I spoke a couple days ago at the Muki Baum conference 'Come To Your Senses' which was billed as an international sensory conference. I had done a keynote speech and was outside by the book table coming down from it. It had gone well. Several people from the conference had come and chatted then went back in for the next session. There was about five minutes where it seemed that I was going to be alone for the next forty or so minutes. I looked around, no one was there, and then let rip a huge fart. When ya gatta, ya gatta.
A few seconds later a few people came up the stairs and noticed the book tables on either side. They went over to the other book table and for a few minutes I thought I was safe. Then, to my horror, an incredibly deep and rich smell of such putrid intensity formed an invisible cloud around me. My eyes were watering. Then using every bit of psychic power I had, I pushed the shoppers to stay and buy at the other table. My abilities in this regard are weak.
They turned and headed towards me. For a few minutes they were at the other end of the table, and then they approached the 'don your gas masks' zone. What could I do. I did nothing. I sat looking innocent. I sat looking as if my eyes were watering because I was moved by a deep inner thought. Then it hit them, all at once. They froze. Horror slowly flickered on their faces. They looked at each other with that 'was that you?' look. Then as one they looked towards me.
I asked them if I could help them with anything, they said 'no' and fled.
I wondered if I should charge extra for providing an example of just how powerful a sensory experience could be.