It took me by surprise, my disability did.
I know that most non-disabled people figure that I'm disabled all the time. And I guess in a way I am, but also, in away, I'm not. I mean I can go for whole days without realizing, 'Oh, yeah, I'm disabled.'
So yesterday I arrived at work, I had interviews to do and things to prepare so my mind was firmly set on getting started. I had arrived early, by design, rolled into the building and up to the elevator. It wasn't working. I sat there as my disability came crashing down on me, 'Oh, yeah, I'm a cripple.'
You see I live in my body and I have adapted my life around me and what I can and can't do. I have reachers for dressing and picking things up. I have bars and grips for getting up and getting down. I have raised furniture that enables me to relax without worry about rising. So, in the end, I don't think about my disability much at all.
But then ... an elevator will be down and suddenly I am keenly aware of my difference, my disability. In this case, I simply panicked. I called the receptionist, a lovely woman, and said, 'I'm downstairs, the elevator isn't working, what do I do?' She was kindly but I didn't want kind, I wanted magical. I wanted her to wave a wand and the elevator would work.
And maybe that's what happened because suddenly the elevator made it's way down from the 2nd floor and opened in front of me. I got on, rode up praying ... knowing that with every second I was getting closer to God's ear ... the door opened and I was out. Suddenly, disability lifted off my shoulders and I set about my day again.
I imagine that it's this was for people of all differences and all diversities ... that what makes you different makes it's way to your consciousness only every now and then. That the world sees you differently all the time but you know the secret - difference visits you, it doesn't live with you.
So I'm back to being fully able.
And next time I see Aneta, the receptionist I'm going to see if she has a wand anywhere near her desk.