Right now it's very dark and I'm typing solely by the light of the computer screen. Thank heaven's for learning touch typing! I'm trying to be very quiet because Joe is sleeping and I can hear him breathing the way he does when he's deeply asleep. We are on vacation, that is to say I am. I'm feeling a little guilty because, while I get to take vacations from my life, Joe doesn't really get to take vacations from his. There is a level of unfairness when it comes to disability. Sometimes, with barriers and attitudes, there is an unfair degree of restrictions on my life. Sometimes with the steady constant of assistance and need, there is an unfair demand on Joe for his time, his effort, his work.
Going on vacation is great for me cause I don't pack, I don't haul, I don't load the car, I don't lift and stuff the wheelchair into the back. It's great for me because I can fall asleep in the passenger seat and have one of those 'the sun is on you naps,' this isn't possible in the other seat. Driving and all the rest, once shared, is not longer so.
Last night something happened where I had a problem that required a fair bit of work before everything was back to normal. Joe was tired. We had picked Joseph up and then 'teenaged talked' (we get the individual WORDS) up to Ottawa. And then we had Ruby laughing and hugging, Sadie up and alert, along with trying to catch up with Mike and Marissa. We'd all gone out to a buffet restaurant here in Ottawa, and those are by the nature of the beast, loud. I don't know why but the older I get the tireder noise makes me. So once they'd gone and we were getting ready for bed, WHAM, there was a bit of a problem and I needed more help than usual.
So, I'm on vacation from my regular life, i wonder if I'll ever take a vacation from guilt?
PS. I learned my lesson, I'll never play that April Fools trick again.
PS. I have an Ottawa reader who suggested we have tea together next time I was in town. I've lost your email. Drop me a line and maybe tomorrow morning.