Well, tickle me with a pink feather!
A couple days ago I announced that it's time for disability bloggers to take over Valentine's Day with posts about sex, sexuality, and sensuality. We need to reclaim love, lust and licentious behaviour. Only a few people signed up but I'm hoping more will take on the challenge. It's only one day in the year and it's an important day.
Though not disabled as a child in the traditional sense of the word, I was 'handicapped' by the fact that I was an ungainly, ungracious, unattractive little fellow. Valentine's Day was a painful experience. We were all forced to make Valentine's boxes or envelopes to put on our desks in anticipation of the wonderful Valentines that would flow our way on the special day. After the first spectacularly painful year of recieiving not one card - I was always sure to make myself several so I was saved the embarassment of total rejection.
When I began working in the area of sexuality for those with intellectual disabilities I sensed the same experience of the nearly total rejection of the idea of a life of love and sex for those in my care. There were policies, procedures and protocols that, more than dismissed the idea of sexuality, punished it's appearance. It's been a long hard fight and there have been many voices of radical reason and ground has been gained.
In talking with others who have physical disabilities like myself now, there is often heard, when the subject of sexuality is raised, the frustration of being seen as sexless. There is a courage in coming out as sexual, as demanding to be seen as fully human with fully human needs. Therefore, we need to talk about it.
So, I announced, another day of Valentine's blogging. (There's lots of time to sign up, just do so in the comment section). But here's the pink feather moment. I got an email from a guy named Drew who runs a sex store and has a web site that sells sex toys. He read my blog and wrote to ask if he could in some way help sponser the day. He liked the idea of sexuality and disability being raised and wanted to be part of it. Well I checked out his website and there's lots of cool (hot) stuff but there was little information regarding sex toys and disability.
I wrote Drew back and thanked him and pointed out that the website didn't such information. He wrote back wondering what would be needed to make the site more accessible. I realized, I don't really know. So I called and we talked. I asked him if I could could post the link to his site at Eden Fantasys for you all to take a look at. You can forward feedback to me and I'll collect it and send it on to him.
What was great in talking to Drew was that he realized, instantly, that people with disabilities are often not included in the discussion of sexuality and that he wanted to do something about it. I like this kind of corporate responsibility and interest. So, have some fun today. Go visit Drew's site. Maybe buy a pink feather.