So, it ate away at me. Even though we were driving through the California countryside on a beautiful day, my mind wandered from the view outside to the feelings inside. Part of me was worried that I would be changed from my experience of hurt. Part of me was worried that I wouldn't be. Odd as that may sound.
Joe said, knowing what was going on, 'Why don't you do something about it.'
Frustrated, I said, 'Like what?' And I meant it. I think that was part of what was really bothering me, I didn't know how to make it all better. I didn't know what to say, what to do, or how to affect any change at all. The incident was over. The 'perp' was far away in another city. The world went on as the way it was, the world would continue on as the world always does. There was nothing, absolutely nothing that I could do.
"Feng Shui," Joe said.
"What?" I said.
"I don't really know what Feng Shui is, but I think it's about changing the energy. Like moving a bit a furnature can make the energy flow better.'
Joe often says things that are a bit incomprehensible but this was going a bit far. 'You want me to move some furnature?'
'Yeah,' he said, 'do something really really nice for someone who doesn't expect it, maybe doesn't even deserve it. There's bad in the world, so counteract it by doing something unexpectedly good.'
It seemed like a lame-assed suggestion but I thought for about fifteen minutes and then spent a half an hour arranging something really nice to happen for someone who certainly wouldn't expect it. Someone that has need of something good to happen. Someone who would be totally, totally surprised. Once arranged, I made a call and shifted a celestial couch.
And, it kind of worked. I spent the rest of the day remembering a surprised voice. A happy voice. That voice replaced the one the kept bothering me in the morning, the one that insisted, 'give up, it isn't worth the fight, give up.'