Sunday, May 03, 2009

Scandalous Goings On ...

I'm not sure if she is a devotee or simply a voyeur. All I know is that she somehow managed to stay in our room after everyone left. I didn't notice her, a tribute to her stalking skills. Over the course of the evening I woke up feeling like I was being watched, being stalked, being desired. I've never had the experience of having a 'devotee' although I hear women with disabilities talking about them from time to time. For those out of the know 'devotee' is the term used to describe people attracted to people with disabilities ... many more interested in the disability than the person. If you can make a shoe a fetishtic object, then why not disability, or any other trait.

Anyways, tutorial over, I haven't had the experience of being sought out and lusted over because of my disability. I haven't felt the deep burning passion that devotees have towards crippled limbs and twisted smiles. No, not I. Then I realized that I've only read about such denizens of the edges of sexual perversion on blogs by women with disabilities. Do men with disabilities have such things ... well, I guess so because ... I have.

As I was saying, I felt that I was being watched. I tossed the idea aside. Surely there was just Joe and I in the room. But I was wrong. I woke to the stare of a woman in a beautiful blue gown. There she was perched on my bedside table. Wait till the tabloids get ahold of this - Cinderella was there with her luscious lips all painted red and she was staring - unblinking really - at me. I rose and tried to cover myself from her red hot glare. I knew immediately that she had escaped from Ruby's pack of princesses that she'd been carrying around. She spent the evening not looking at Prince Chariming's tight ass and meager basket, no she was with me - who looks like I'm half way into turning myself back into a pumpkin.

So me and Cindy spent the night together in Orlando Florida. I can't believe that, of all the stories I'd have to tell, I'd end up with a princess in my bedroom. Joe is dealing with his jealousy nicely.

Hey wait a minute. If Cindy was with me, where did the Prince spend his night, and why does Joe's breath smell of plastic?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL....... glad to see that you are enjoying yourself at the most magical place on earth!

:o)

lisa said...

LOL!

Lisa

CJ said...

Lol..lol..

Cynthia F. said...

"meager basket"?

guffaw out loud.

Shan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shan said...

EW GROSS.

Dave, PLEASE! Don't sexualise Disney characters. I'm begging you. Disney does a fine job of that on their own, and the whole idea is just too perverse. If my kids had any Princess DVDs, I'd be locking them up behind a "must be 18 to view" sign.

Dave Hingsburger said...

Dear and Gentle Readers ... I received several emails about todays blog and was shocked to hear what you thought I meant about Joe's breath ... I meant that he'd been KISSING AND MAKING OUT ... I had no idea how much further many of you would go ... PIGS!

CJ said...

Don't say pigs. It reminds me of swine flu.

Carrie said...

OMG! LOL!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

sometimes the dirtiest minds are our own.

:o)

Brenda said...

Thanks for the double laughs. Once when I read your post, and again when I read the comments! Sometimes, it just doesn't take much, does it?